Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural, accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar mistakes, avoid redundant or unclear phrases (e.g. “health of my father” and “learned to write a bike” are incorrect). Add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep the answer under five sentences.

예시: Yes, I did. I got my first bike when I was about five, and I learned to ride it with help from my father and sister. For example, my father held the seat while my sister ran alongside me, and after a week I could ride confidently on my own.

제안: Give a direct opinion first, then support it with clear, specific reasons and correct grammar. Use linking words (e.g. "because", "however") and avoid vague or confused phrases like “risk having a history.” Keep answers concise and focused with one or two supporting points.

예시: I don't think bikes are very popular in my country, mainly because the climate is hot and people prefer faster, shaded transport. For instance, many commuters choose cars or buses to avoid cycling in the midday heat, and there are also few safe bike lanes in most cities.

× I practiced with it a lot with the health of my father and my sister.

✓ I practiced with it a lot with the help of my father and my sister.

The student used 'health' incorrectly; the correct preposition phrase is 'with the help of' to indicate assistance. Use 'help' not 'health' and 'with the help of' is the proper prepositional phrase. Suggestion: Replace 'with the health of' with 'with the help of' to show who assisted you.

× It was very fun time because I learned to write a bike from scratch.

✓ It was a very fun time because I learned to ride a bike from scratch.

'Fun' needs an article and noun: 'a very fun time'. More importantly, 'write a bike' is incorrect verb choice; the correct verb for using a bicycle is 'ride'. 'From scratch' is acceptable to mean learning from the beginning. Suggestion: Use 'ride' for bicycles and include the article 'a' before 'very fun time'.

× I don't think bikes are popular in my country and the reason is that our country, it is a hot country and if you ride the bike you will have to expose yourself to the sun and it's kind of risk having a history.

✓ I don't think bikes are popular in my country because it is hot, and if you ride a bike you will be exposed to the sun, which can be risky.

The original sentence has tense and sentence-structure problems and awkward phrasing. 'Our country, it is a hot country' is redundant; use 'it is hot.' 'Ride the bike' should be 'ride a bike' in general statements (article use). 'You will have to expose yourself to the sun' is wordy; 'you will be exposed to the sun' is clearer. 'It's kind of risk having a history' is ungrammatical and unclear; replace with 'which can be risky.' Suggestion: Remove redundancy, use 'a bike' for general statements, simplify passive phrasing, and replace unclear idiom with 'risky'.