Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve grammar, reduce hesitations and redundancy, and organize into a clear topic sentence with 1–2 supporting details. Correct verb forms (e.g., "I had a bike" not "I had a buy one"). Use linking words (e.g., "so" or "which allowed me to...") and avoid repeating filler words like "umm" and "and." Keep answer to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes. I had a bike as a child — my mum bought it for me as a birthday present when I was about six or seven. Because of it, I could ride to the park near my home with friends, which made me feel quite independent.

제안: Clarify the main idea and use accurate grammar and vocabulary. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes or No + reason), then give one specific supporting detail. Avoid vague phrases and filler words. Use linking words like "because" and "for example" and finish the sentence with a concrete result or feeling.

예시: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because they are affordable for many people. For example, many low‑income families use bicycles for daily travel, which saves money on transport and gives people more independence.

× To be honest I had a buy one as a child, my mum bought it for me as a birthday gift when I was about umm 6 or 7 years old and I really love it because I could ride it to the park near my home and like together with my friends and and I can feel it very independent.

✓ To be honest, I bought one as a child. My mum bought it for me as a birthday gift when I was about six or seven years old, and I really loved it because I could ride it to the park near my home together with my friends, and I felt very independent.

The sentence mixes past and present tenses incorrectly. The context describes childhood events, so past tense should be used consistently (bought, loved, could, felt). Also split into clearer sentences and remove filler words. Suggestion: keep verbs describing past events in past tense and separate ideas into sentences for clarity.

× Umm, I will say that yes, because, uh, my is really, uh, cheaper for everyone that have a low income families that then make a better year for everybody and it can make my people to feel a real sense of.

✓ Umm, I would say yes, because bikes are really cheap for everyone, especially low-income families; they can make life better for many people and help them feel a real sense of freedom.

Pronouns and noun phrases are incorrect and unclear ('my is', 'have a low income families', 'my people'). Also tense/modality: 'would say' is more polite. Use plural noun 'bikes' and correct determiners ('low-income families'). Remove incomplete ending and replace with 'sense of freedom' to complete thought. Suggestion: use correct nouns and determiners, keep subject-verb agreement, and finish the idea.