Study— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, correct collocations (e.g., “a high level of education”), and limit to 2–3 supporting sentences. Use linking words like because or so to connect ideas.

예시: I'm a student in my final year of high school. I'm studying maths and biology because I plan to apply to university, so I need to work hard to attain a high level of education.

제안: Give a direct answer then add one specific detail. Correct place names or clarify if unsure. Use a linking word to explain the reason for change.

예시: I study at Secondary School No. 104. I recently moved there from Eurosk, so it's been a new experience adapting to a different school environment.

제안: Give a clear opinion in one sentence, then support it with 1–2 brief reasons. Avoid repetition and vague phrases; use linking words like although or because.

예시: I think it's a good place to study for some students because the teachers offer structured lessons, although it may depend on a person's learning style and motivation.

제안: State a clear change you want and give a concrete reason and possible result. Avoid blaming language; say how the change would help students. Use correct grammar and one or two supporting details.

예시: Yes, I would like the school to offer more qualified teachers or better teacher training because currently some teachers struggle with the subject material, and improving that would raise the overall quality of education.

제안: Answer directly with a clear plan and a couple of specific steps. Correct phrasing (e.g., “pass university entrance exams,” “obtain a degree,” “study biology in depth”). Keep it to 2–3 concise sentences.

예시: I plan to pass the university entrance exams and obtain a degree in biology. After that, I hope to study biology in depth, focusing on research areas that I am passionate about.

× Actually I'm a student, it's my last high school year and I'm studying maths and biology because I will apply for university and I need to work hard to to have a a white education level.

✓ Actually, I'm a student. It's my final year of high school, and I'm studying maths and biology because I will apply to university and need to work hard to achieve a high level of education.

Run-on sentences, repeated words ('to to', 'a a') and awkward phrasing ('last high school year', 'white education level') create sentence structure errors. Break into shorter sentences, use 'final year of high school', 'apply to university', and 'achieve a high level of education' for clarity. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× I'm studying at secondary school #104 and it's my new school because I have moved from Eurosk to asthma, so it's something new for me.

✓ I'm studying at Secondary School No. 104, and it's my new school because I moved from Eurosk to Asthma, so it's something new for me.

Preposition and capitalization issues: 'at secondary school #104' is acceptable but capitalize proper nouns and standardize name format; use simple past 'moved' for a completed action. 'to asthma' seems to be a place name and should be capitalized. Also 'have moved' can be simplified to 'moved' if referring to a past relocation. Grammar problem type ID: 11

× I'm not sure I can say the 100% answers, because I'm not. It's quite obvious that they depend on person, on his performance, his preference. Because I cannot say it clearly. Answer clearly, answer clearly.

✓ I'm not sure I can give a 100% answer because it depends on the person, their performance and preferences, so I cannot say it clearly.

Fragmented sentences and awkward phrasing: 'the 100% answers' should be 'a 100% answer'; avoid repeating phrases. Use 'depends on the person, their performance and preferences' and combine fragments into one clear sentence. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× I'm, uh, I think, yes, maybe it's when it comes to education level, I want to change our teacher in there, uh, because I think they're not have, uh, the required level of their knowledge.

✓ I think yes, when it comes to the quality of education, I would like to change some teachers because I don't think they have the required level of knowledge.

Incorrect modal and auxiliary usage: 'they're not have' is ungrammatical; use 'do not have' or 'don't have'. 'I want to change our teacher in there' is awkward; use 'I would like to replace some teachers' or 'change some teachers'. Also use 'quality of education' instead of 'education level' for clarity. Grammar problem type ID: 4

× And I in this changes will improve our school.

✓ I believe these changes would improve our school.

Incorrect word order and form: 'I in this changes will improve' is ungrammatical. Reorder to subject-verb-object structure: 'I believe these changes would improve our school.' Use plural 'changes' with 'these'. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× I'm actually I'm I would like to pass the entire exam of university and get a high level degree or no so into in explore profoundly the biology because I'm I am passionate about it.

✓ Actually, I would like to pass the university entrance exams and earn a high-level degree, and to explore biology in depth because I am passionate about it.

Multiple redundancies and incorrect phrases: remove repeated pronouns ('I'm actually I'm I'), use 'university entrance exams' instead of 'the entire exam of university', 'earn a high-level degree', and 'explore biology in depth' rather than 'no so into in explore profoundly the biology'. Clean up sentence to correct word order and collocations. Grammar problem type ID: 26