Study— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more concise, correct grammar and use natural phrases. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid contractions like "gonna" in formal speech and correct articles (e.g., "the faculty of pharmacy").

예시: I'm currently a student at the faculty of pharmacy at university. However, I plan to look for a part-time job in a few months because my scholarship doesn't cover all my expenses, so I need extra income.

제안: Answer directly and confidently with correct sentence structure and fewer hesitations. Give a short supporting detail such as the city and one feature of the university. Remove filler words and fix word order ("it is located").

예시: I study at Kazan Medical University, which is located in Kazan. The university is well known locally for its medical and pharmaceutical programs.

제안: This answer is clear and relevant; improve coherence by using linking phrases and slightly more precise vocabulary. Limit to around three sentences and replace vague phrases like "any kind of knowledge" with specific examples.

예시: Yes, I think it's a good place to study because it has a strong student community and many extracurricular activities. In addition, there are a wide range of elective courses in areas like clinical practice and research methods, and the professors are supportive.

제안: Be specific about what needs improving and use clearer language. Organize your answer: state the change you want, explain why with a specific example, then briefly add an additional suggestion. Correct phrases like "old fashion" to "old-fashioned" and "extra samples" to "more samples or materials".

예시: Yes. First, the laboratory equipment is rather old-fashioned and not up to modern standards, which limits our ability to run certain experiments. Also, it would help if we had more sample materials and reagents so students can practice properly.

제안: Clarify intentions and correct grammar and word choice. Start with a clear topic sentence about your study and career plan, then give a brief timeline with reasons. Replace awkward phrases like "prefer the to end" and "dedicated to open" with natural verbs.

예시: I plan to complete my degree in pharmacy because I enjoy chemistry and related subjects. After graduating, I intend to work in a pharmacy for about three years to gain practical experience, and later I hope to open my own pharmacy business.

× Currently I'm a student, I'm studying at the university at faculty of pharmacy.

✓ Currently I'm a student; I'm studying at the university in the Faculty of Pharmacy.

The original sentence has structure and preposition errors: 'at the university at faculty of pharmacy' is ungrammatical. Use 'in the Faculty of Pharmacy' for studying within a faculty. Also separate two independent clauses with a semicolon or conjunction to avoid a comma splice.

× I really enjoy it and I think I'm gonna apply to job in several months because scholarship cannot cover all my needs, so I need an extra money.

✓ I really enjoy it and I think I'm going to apply for a job in several months because my scholarship cannot cover all my needs, so I need some extra money.

Replace informal 'gonna' with 'going to' and use the correct preposition 'apply for a job'. Add the possessive 'my' before 'scholarship' and use 'some extra money' (uncountable noun) rather than 'an extra money'.

× I study in at University of Kazan Medical University.

✓ I study at Kazan Medical University.

Remove the redundant 'in at' and avoid repeating 'University'. Use 'at' when naming a university: 'at Kazan Medical University'.

× Umm, it located in Kazan, obviously, uh, which is stayed from the name.

✓ It is located in Kazan, which is clear from the name.

Add the verb 'is' for a complete clause. Replace 'stayed from the name' with 'clear from the name' to convey intended meaning. Remove filler words for clarity.

× Actually, yeah, I do think it's a good university because of community and extracurricular activities.

✓ Actually, yes, I do think it's a good university because of the community and the extracurricular activities.

Use 'yes' instead of conversational 'yeah' in more formal speech. Add 'the' before 'community' and 'extracurricular activities' to specify these aspects of the university.

× There is a wide range of extra courses as well, so you can get access to any kind of knowledge you need and the professors are quite nice too.

✓ There is a wide range of extra courses as well, so you can access any kind of knowledge you need, and the professors are quite nice too.

Change 'get access to' to the simpler 'access'. The sentence is otherwise grammatical; minor wording improves fluency.

× Actually, yeah, I do think we need some improvements in the equipment that we're working with because it's kinda old fashion and it's not at the cutting edge of technology.

✓ Actually, yes, I do think we need some improvements to the equipment we're working with because it's kind of old-fashioned and not at the cutting edge of technology.

Use 'improvements to the equipment' (correct preposition), 'kind of' instead of 'kinda' in formal speech, and hyphenate 'old-fashioned'. Remove redundant 'it's' before 'not'.

× I'd say that's all. Actually, no, an extra samples would be nice too because we do not have enough material to work with in laboratory.

✓ I'd say that's all. Actually, no, some extra samples would be nice too because we do not have enough material to work with in the laboratory.

'An extra samples' mixes singular article with plural noun; use 'some extra samples'. Add 'the' before 'laboratory' for specificity.

× I prefer the to end the pharmacy faculty because I really enjoy the chemistry and everything related to that and for the first three years I plan to work in the pharmacy and then I dedicated to open my own pharmacy company.

✓ I plan to finish the Pharmacy faculty because I really enjoy chemistry and related subjects; for the first three years I plan to work in a pharmacy, and then I intend to open my own pharmacy company.

Rewrite to correct word choice and structure: 'prefer the to end' is incorrect — use 'plan to finish'. Remove unnecessary 'the' before 'chemistry' and use 'intend to' instead of 'dedicated to' for future intentions. Use 'in a pharmacy' for employment and add punctuation for clarity.