Study— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Cevap daha doğrudan ve akıcı olmalı. İlk cümlede net bir konu cümlesi kurun (çalışıyorum/öğrenciyim). Ayrıntılara geçerken bağlaçlar kullanın ve tekrar eden ifadelerden kaçının. Örneğin çalışma koşullarını anlatırken “because” ifadesini tek seferde, spesifik örneklerle destekleyin. Cümle sayısını 3–4 ile sınırlayın, dil bilgisi hatalarını düzeltin (örn. “my legs are broken” yerine “my legs were exhausted” veya “I developed leg pain”).

예시: I'm currently a student, but I previously worked as a waitress at Garson Cafe. I left because the job involved long hours standing, which caused persistent leg pain. For example, I often worked eight-hour shifts with few breaks, so it became unsustainable.

제안: Daha doğru dil bilgisi ve daha doğal kelime kullanımı gereklidir. Yer ve bölüm hakkında kısa, net bir konu cümlesi kurun; ardından nedenini bağlaçla bağlayarak destekleyin. Gereksiz dolgu sözcüklerinden (uh) kaçının ve fiil yapılarını düzeltin (örn. “I study at Belkin University, which is located in Ankara” ).

예시: I study at Belkin University, which is located in Ankara, where I am in the classroom teaching department. I chose this major because I enjoy working with children and helping them learn.

제안: Cümleler anlamsal olarak karışık ve yanlış ifadeler içeriyor. Soruyu doğrudan yanıtlayıp olumlu ve olumsuz birkaç somut neden verin. Kampüs olanakları, kütüphane veya sınav desteği gibi spesifik örnekler kullanın. Sigara ile ilgili politika anlatacaksanız bunu açık ve doğru bir dille ifade edin.

예시: Yes, it is a good place to study in terms of its facilities and academic staff. However, there are strict smoking rules on campus — smoking is only allowed in designated areas — which some students may find inconvenient.

제안: Cevap net değil ve uygun dil bilgisi hataları var. Önce kampüste istenen değişikliği açıkça söyleyin; sonra nedenini mantıklı bir şekilde bağlayın. "Childs are so boring" gibi uygunsuz ve kaba ifadeler yerine daha nazik ve spesifik açıklamalar kullanın (ör. "I find working with children less stimulating than I expected").

예시: Yes. I would like more flexible options for changing majors because I’m reconsidering my career path. For example, I plan to retake the entrance exam this year because I’m more interested in studying psychology than classroom teaching.

제안: Cümle yapısı ve kelime seçimi belirsiz. Gelecek planlarını açık, kronolojik ve kısa cümlelerle belirtin. Gideceğiniz yeri doğru isimlendirin, seyahat amacını ve birlikte gidecek kişiyi net ifade edin. Ayrıca grameri düzelterek akıcılık sağlayın.

예시: I plan to go abroad to Norrisk, Russia, next October to continue my studies. I will travel with my sister, who is a psychologist and will help me with academic matters as I prepare to reapply to a different department.

× Yes, I used to work at Garson Cafe being a waitress, but I left because the work conditions are so hard that my legs are broken because of the work conditions.

✓ Yes, I used to work at Garson Cafe as a waitress, but I left because the working conditions were so hard that my legs hurt.

The original sentence has awkward structure and repetition ('being a waitress', 'work conditions' twice). Use 'as a waitress' for role (preposition use and sentence structure). 'Work conditions' should be 'working conditions' (adjective form). Past experience requires past tense 'were' and 'my legs hurt' is natural English. Suggestions: replace 'being a waitress' with 'as a waitress', use 'working conditions', avoid repetition, and use past tense verbs for past events.

× I study at Belkin University, which located in Ankara, uh, the department of classroom teacher and I love deal with students. Uh, so This is why I chose my department.

✓ I study at Belkin University, which is located in Ankara, in the Department of Classroom Teaching, and I love working with students. That is why I chose my department.

Missing verb 'is' after 'which' (there be/ sentence structure). 'Department of classroom teacher' is incorrect noun phrase; use 'Department of Classroom Teaching'. 'Love deal with' is incorrect collocation and verb form — use 'love working with'. Capitalization of 'This' is unnecessary mid-sentence. Suggestions: add 'is', correct department name, use gerund 'working' with 'love', and connect clauses properly.

× Yes, if you chase a statue in a big way, you can choose this university because this university is put everywhere through for instance, the cigarettes. You can't use everywhere, just the area that they put you can.

✓ Yes, if you aim for a prestigious degree, you can choose this university because smoking areas are designated throughout the campus. You cannot smoke everywhere; you can only smoke in the areas they have designated.

Original uses wrong words and prepositions ('chase a statue', 'is put everywhere through', 'you can'). Replace with correct idioms: 'aim for a prestigious degree' or similar. 'Put' is incorrect; use 'designated' for areas. Preposition 'in' for 'in the areas' and modal 'can' placement corrected. Suggestions: use appropriate vocabulary ('designated smoking areas'), correct prepositions ('in the areas'), and clear modal structure.

× Yes, to illustrate, I will answer the exam again this year to change my departments because my mind's altered and I find psychology attractive instead of being teacher because Childs are so boring.

✓ Yes, for example, I will take the exam again this year to change my department because I have changed my mind and I find psychology more attractive than teaching because children are boring.

Multiple issues: 'answer the exam' is incorrect collocation — use 'take the exam'. 'Change my departments' should be singular 'change my department'. 'My mind's altered' is unnatural; use 'I have changed my mind'. Comparison needs 'more ... than' construction ('more attractive than teaching'). 'Being teacher' incorrect; use 'teaching'. Plural 'Childs' is wrong; use 'children'. Suggestions: use correct collocations ('take the exam'), correct plural forms, and comparative structure.

× I want to go to abroad which located in Norrisk, Russia next October with my sister who is psychologist and wants to helps me this department's issues because I want to answer my department to.

✓ I want to go abroad to Norrisk, Russia next October with my sister, who is a psychologist and wants to help me with issues related to this department because I want to take the exam for my department.

'Go to abroad' is incorrect; use 'go abroad' or 'go to [place]'. 'Which located' missing verb; use 'which is located' or restructure. 'Sister who is psychologist' needs article: 'a psychologist'. 'Wants to helps' wrong verb form; use 'help'. 'This department's issues' should be 'issues related to this department' (preposition use). 'Answer my department to' wrong collocation; use 'take the exam for my department'. Suggestions: remove unnecessary 'to' with 'abroad', add 'a' before professions, use base verb after modal 'wants to', and use correct prepositions and collocations.