Study— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and directly state your status, then give one or two clear supporting details. Avoid repetitions, filler words (uh, umm), and fragmented sentences. Use linking words (because, so) to make reasons clear and keep answers under five sentences.

예시: I'm a student from Hong Kong, studying for the Diploma of Secondary Education (DSE). Because competition is intense, I feel a lot of academic pressure, so I focus on time management and regular study routines to cope.

제안: Begin with a clear topic sentence naming the place, then give one specific supporting detail about the city. Remove vague or unclear phrases and avoid slang. Use a linking word to connect reason or consequence.

예시: I study in Hong Kong, which is a very competitive city. Because of strong competition in academics and business, people often feel pressured, so students tend to work long hours to stay ahead.

제안: Start with a clear stance (yes/no/both) and explain with specific reasons and examples. Correct vocabulary (e.g., 'two sides', 'resources' unclear) and reduce hesitations. Use linking words like 'however' to show contrast.

예시: It has both advantages and disadvantages. On one hand, Hong Kong has excellent universities such as the University of Hong Kong, which offer strong academic resources; however, admission is extremely competitive, so students face significant stress.

제안: Answer directly whether you'd change anything, then give a concrete change and one reason. Avoid vague comparisons and repetitive phrasing. Use linking words such as 'because' and 'so' to clarify cause and effect.

예시: Yes, I would like less emphasis on exam scores. For example, I wish Hong Kong's schools would focus more on creativity and wellbeing because that would reduce stress and help students learn more effectively.

제안: Give a clear, specific plan (subject and reason), and avoid saying it's a 'joke'. Explain why you choose that field and mention realistic expectations. Use linking words (because, although) and keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: I plan to study accounting because it is a professional field that leads to many job opportunities. Although it is demanding, I believe the practical skills and potential for a good salary make it a worthwhile choice.

× I'm a student. I'm a student, uh, come from Hong Kong, you know, the DSC, umm, we have, we all have uh, really big, uh, really huge, uh, pressure we need to, uh, face on that may make me that hyped crazy because of that, I need to have a good academic for my.

✓ I'm a student. I come from Hong Kong. At the DSC we all feel a lot of pressure, which can make me feel very stressed, so I need to have good academic results.

The original used incorrect and repetitive pronouns and awkward phrases ("I'm a student, uh, come from Hong Kong" and "may make me that hyped crazy"). Replace first-person clauses with 'I' + correct verb form and use relative clause 'which' to link the pressure to the feeling of stress. Use consistent pronouns and clearer phrasing. Suggestion: Use 'I' + verb (I come), avoid repeating 'I'm a student', and rephrase informal fillers.

× I study in Hong Kong, you know, high competitive city and uh, no matter the academic, the business, the company, Hong Kong people always have a big pressure. So we cannot be delighted to people. You need to be the early people.

✓ I study in Hong Kong, which is a highly competitive city. Whether in academics, business, or companies, people in Hong Kong always experience a lot of pressure. So we cannot be relaxed. You need to be an early riser.

Multiple sentence-structure issues and incorrect word choices: 'high competitive' should be 'highly competitive' (adverb), and 'have a big pressure' should be 'experience a lot of pressure'. 'Cannot be delighted to people' is unclear; context suggests 'cannot be relaxed'. 'You need to be the early people' is ungrammatical—likely 'an early riser' or 'among the first people'. Suggestion: Fix adjective/adverb forms, use correct verbs ('experience'), and replace unclear phrases with standard expressions.

× There are the two siders. I think the pandemic resources is the best of the best because you know have the Hong Kong University of Hong Kong have the sign University of Hong Kong.

✓ There are two sides. I think the pandemic has two sides. For resources, Hong Kong is excellent because it has the University of Hong Kong and other prestigious universities.

'There are the two siders' uses incorrect noun form; correct is 'two sides'. 'The pandemic resources is' misuses singular verb with plural notion; better to say 'the pandemic has two sides' or 'there are two sides to the pandemic'. Also 'have the Hong Kong University of Hong Kong have the sign University of Hong Kong' is redundant and ungrammatical. Suggestion: Use proper plural forms and simplify redundant references to institutions.

× This is really good because you know outstanding university, but the student have too much pressure about to go into this.

✓ This is really good because it has outstanding universities, but students have too much pressure to get into them.

Subject-verb agreement errors: 'the student have' should be 'students have' (plural subject with plural verb). 'Outstanding university' needs article or plural; 'universities' fits. 'Pressure about to go into this' is incorrect; use 'pressure to get into them'. Suggestion: Match plural subjects with plural verbs and use correct infinitive 'to get into'.

× Like America, because America I can relax pressure. I don't. I don't always look at the record, look at the score in other, because this is quite crazy, always stressful. Always look at other score higher than me on lower than me.

✓ For example, in America I can relax and feel less pressure. I don't always focus on grades because that is quite stressful. I am always comparing my scores with others, which is tiring.

Tense and aspect problems: 'because America I can relax pressure' is ungrammatical—use present simple 'I can relax and feel less pressure'. Repeated fragments like 'I don't. I don't always look' should be combined. 'Always look at other score higher than me on lower than me' is fragmented and wrong tense; rephrase to present continuous or simple present for habitual action. Suggestion: Use clear present-tense constructions for habits ('I don't always focus', 'I am always comparing').

× I'll say like a joke business of the accounting because you know that is professional. I have the, I can have a lot of professional job. I can do high salary, which is so that is quite good. But also that is really hard to have.

✓ I would like to study accounting because it is a professional field. I can get many professional jobs and earn a high salary, which would be good, but it is also very difficult to achieve.

Incorrect tense/modal use: 'I'll say like a joke' and fragmented present forms create confusion. Use conditional/modal 'I would like' to express future plans. 'I can do high salary' is incorrect; use 'earn a high salary'. 'That is really hard to have' should be 'it is very difficult to achieve'. Suggestion: Use modal verbs correctly to express plans ('I would like', 'I can'), and use proper collocations ('earn a salary', 'get a job').