Study— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and use correct grammar and pronunciation. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two supporting details. Avoid contractions like "wanna" in formal tests and correct tense/word forms (e.g., "I want to try a part-time job").

예시: I'm currently taking a gap year after graduating from high school. During this time I am exploring career options and I plan to try a part-time job to gain work experience and decide what to study.

제안: Organize into a clear present/past distinction and reduce redundancy. Use linking words for coherence (for example, "however" or "but") and replace vague phrases with specific descriptions of challenges or benefits.

예시: I studied at a high school in the United States as an exchange student. It was challenging because of the language barrier and cultural differences; however, I was grateful for the experience because it improved my English and broadened my perspective.

제안: Give a direct answer then add one specific reason. Avoid repeating previous information. Use a linking phrase to add the reason and correct grammar ("an amazing opportunity").

예시: Yes, it was a great place to study because I wanted to improve my English. Additionally, the teachers and classmates helped me practice speaking every day.

제안: Be clearer and grammatically correct: start with a topic sentence stating one change, then explain with a specific example. Use linking words like "for example" and correct relative clauses ("the subjects I am interested in").

예시: Yes. I wish schools in Japan allowed students to choose more subjects. For example, I would like to take classes in creative writing and computer programming, which are not offered in my school.

제안: Provide a clear, concise plan with correct grammar and avoid repetition. Begin with a direct statement about your plans, then give one or two reasons why you chose that field and any next steps (applications, gap year activities).

예시: I plan to attend college to study accounting. I chose accounting because I enjoy working with numbers and I hope to gain practical skills for a career in finance, so I will apply to several universities next year and take part-time bookkeeping work during my gap year.

× I'm a student, I just graduated from high school and I decided to take a gap year so I'm still finding what I wanna do with my life and also I want to try part time job.

✓ I'm a student. I just graduated from high school and decided to take a gap year, so I'm still figuring out what I want to do with my life. I also want to try a part-time job.

There are issues with sentence structure and missing articles. Use 'a part-time job' with the indefinite article. Split into shorter sentences for clarity. Replace informal 'wanna' with 'want to' and 'finding' with 'figuring out' for natural phrasing.

× I studied at a high school in the United States as an exchange student. It was challenging because of a language barrier and different culture, but at the same time, I was grateful for the opportunity that I could stay in the United States.

✓ I studied at a high school in the United States as an exchange student. It was challenging because of the language barrier and the different culture, but at the same time I was grateful for the opportunity to stay in the United States.

Use definite article 'the' with 'language barrier' and 'different culture' because you refer to specific features of that experience. Use 'opportunity to stay' rather than 'opportunity that I could stay' for correct verb pattern.

× Yes, I always wanted to study in English, so staying and studying in the United States was amazing opportunity for me.

✓ Yes, I always wanted to study in English, so staying and studying in the United States was an amazing opportunity for me.

Insert the indefinite article 'an' before 'amazing opportunity' because 'opportunity' is a countable noun. This makes the noun phrase grammatically correct.

× Yes, I would. In Japan we cannot choose the subject what I want to learn, so it will be nice if we could choose. The class what I interesting in.

✓ Yes, I would. In Japan we cannot choose the subjects that I want to study, so it would be nice if we could choose the classes I am interested in.

Replace 'what' with 'that' or 'which' for defining relative clauses. Use 'subjects' plural and 'study' instead of 'learn' for natural collocation. Use 'classes I am interested in' rather than 'The class what I interesting in' and correct word order and verb form.

× I think I'm operating the college while I'm taking up you and I think I want to study accounting in the college so. I would like to go to college to study accounting.

✓ I think I'll be attending college while taking a gap year, and I want to study accounting in college. I would like to go to college to study accounting.

Original sentence is unclear and contains incorrect verbs and pronouns ('operating the college', 'taking up you'). Use 'attending college' for the intended meaning and future 'will' or 'going to' for plans. Remove redundant phrases and keep consistent collocations: 'study accounting in college'.