Study— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Câu trả lời rõ ràng nhưng hơi ngắn và có lỗi nhỏ về ngữ pháp. Nên dùng câu chủ đề trực tiếp, sửa thì động từ và cung cấp thêm chi tiết cụ thể về ngành nghề hoặc loại công việc đang tìm để làm câu trả lời tự nhiên và hiệu quả hơn.

예시: I recently graduated from the Banking Academy and I am currently looking for an entry-level position in banking or finance. I am especially interested in customer service or credit analysis roles because they match my coursework and internships.

제안: Thông tin chính có nhưng phát âm/diễn đạt lúng túng (hesitation) và dùng từ viết tắt không rõ (SoC). Nên nói rõ tên trường, nêu một hoặc hai kỹ năng cụ thể đã cải thiện, tránh ngập ngừng để tự nhiên hơn.

예시: I studied at the Banking Academy of Vietnam, where I improved my communication and teamwork skills through group projects and presentations. For example, working on a fundraising project helped me develop public speaking and negotiation abilities.

제안: Ý rõ nhưng câu hơi lặp và ngữ pháp chưa chính xác ("they are all"/"have a high education"). Nên cấu trúc câu gọn, dùng liên từ để mở rộng và đưa ví dụ cụ thể về giảng viên hoặc chương trình học để thuyết phục hơn.

예시: Yes, it is a great place to study because the lecturers are very dedicated and knowledgeable. For instance, many teachers offer extra seminars and practical case studies that helped me apply theory to real banking situations.

제안: Câu trả lời có ý nhưng bị lặp từ, ngữ pháp sai và cấu trúc không mạch lạc. Nên mở đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng, nêu vấn đề cụ thể, giải thích lý do và nếu có thể đề xuất giải pháp ngắn gọn.

예시: Yes, I would like the university to install more elevators because the current two elevators are often overcrowded during class changes. Adding more elevators or improving scheduling would reduce waiting times and make campus movement easier.

제안: Ý tốt nhưng có lỗi ngữ pháp (số ít/đa số, gerund) và lộn xộn. Nên dùng cấu trúc rõ ràng: kế hoạch chính + bước tiếp theo cụ thể (thi IELTS) và lí do. Giữ tối đa 3-4 câu, dùng liên từ để nối ý.

예시: My long-term plan is to pursue a master’s degree in finance after I gain some work experience. Right now, I am preparing for the IELTS exam to improve my English and meet the entry requirements for graduate programs abroad.

× I just graduated from university and now I am going to find a new job.

✓ I just graduated from university and now I am looking for a new job.

The student used 'am going to find' which is grammatically acceptable but awkward here; 'am looking for' (present continuous) better fits the current ongoing action. Use present continuous for actions in progress. Suggestion: say 'I am looking for a new job' to sound natural.

× I have studied at the Banking Academy of Vietnam University and it's helped me a lot in improving my SoC social skills and umm umm.

✓ I studied at the Banking Academy of Vietnam University and it has helped me a lot in improving my social skills.

Mixed tense and redundant abbreviation 'SoC' and filler words. Use past simple 'studied' for completed studies and present perfect 'has helped' for its continuing effect. Remove unnecessary fillers and unclear abbreviation for clarity.

× Of course, Banking Academy of Vietnam is a very good place to study because the teacher here or they are all very nice and dedicated.

✓ Of course, the Banking Academy of Vietnam is a very good place to study because the teachers here are all very nice and dedicated.

Singular/plural and article errors: 'the teacher... they are' is inconsistent. Use plural 'teachers' and 'are'. Also add the definite article 'the' before the institution name for natural English.

× They also have a high education.

✓ They also provide a high-quality education.

'Have a high education' is incorrect collocation. Use 'provide a high-quality education' to describe the institution's educational standard.

× I think there is a point that I want my university to be changed. Is it it is need more elevator because there are too much student but there are two less 2 elevator 2?

✓ I think there is one thing I want my university to change. It needs more elevators because there are too many students but only two elevators.

Multiple issues: awkward 'be changed' (use active 'change'), 'is it it is need' incorrect structure (use 'it needs'), countable noun agreement ('too many students'), plural 'elevators' and remove repeated numbers. Use 'only two elevators' for clarity.

× My future plans is having a master's degree after I have a bachelor degrees and now I want oh IELTS qualifications to improving my English skills.

✓ My future plan is to get a master's degree after I complete my bachelor's degree, and now I want to get IELTS qualifications to improve my English skills.

Subject-verb agreement and verb form issues: 'plans is' should be 'plan is' or 'plans are'; choose singular 'plan' and 'is'. Use 'to get' or 'to obtain' instead of 'having'. 'Bachelor degrees' should be 'bachelor's degree' (singular). 'to improving' should be 'to improve' (infinitive after 'to'). Remove fillers like 'oh'.