Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is direct, well organized, and includes specific examples and results. However, use the past tense consistently: “which helped me develop” rather than “which help me develop.” Also, “learned to play the piano” sounds more natural than “learned the piano.” You could improve the linking between the activities and their benefits by using “As a result.”

예시: Yes, I had plenty of opportunities to try new activities as a child. For example, my parents enrolled me in piano and drawing lessons, which helped me develop my creativity. As a result, I became more confident and was willing to take up other hobbies later on.

제안: You answer the question clearly and give a relevant example. To sound more natural, change “life is for exploring new experience” to “life is about exploring new experiences.” Add a linking phrase such as “For instance,” and avoid repeating “and” several times in the final sentence. “Older adults” and “learn to ride a bike” are also more natural expressions. You could briefly mention that people should try new things at their own pace, which would make the response more balanced.

예시: Yes, I believe people should try a variety of activities because life is about exploring new experiences and developing useful skills. For instance, an older adult could learn to ride a bike, which might improve their fitness and boost their confidence. In addition, trying new activities can make everyday life more enjoyable, as long as people do so at their own pace.

× Yes, when I was a child, my parents let me try many new activities. For example, I learned the piano and took drawing and sketching lessons which help me develop my creativity and gave me confidence to try other hobbies.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, my parents let me try many new activities. For example, I learned the piano and took drawing and sketching lessons, which helped me develop my creativity and gave me confidence to try other hobbies.

The sentence describes completed experiences in the past, so the verb help should also be in the past tense: helped. The comma before which is appropriate because the relative clause provides additional information about the lessons.

× Yes, I think people should try as many different things as possible because life is for exploring new experience and also learning new skills. For example, even an older person can learn to ride a bicycle which can improve their fitness and confidence and make daily life more enjoyable.

✓ Yes, I think people should try as many different things as possible because life is for exploring new experiences and also learning new skills. For example, even an older person can learn to ride a bicycle, which can improve their fitness and confidence and make daily life more enjoyable.

The phrase refers to different kinds of experiences, so the countable noun experience should be plural: experiences. The commas around which help show that the clause provides additional information about riding a bicycle.