Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Answer the question directly and organize your activities in a clear list. Avoid repeating “I used to” too often, and correct the phrases “play with my family football” to “play football with my family” and “draw a designing” to “draw designs.” The answer also ends incompletely with “and also,” so finish with a specific detail about one activity and why you enjoyed it.

예시: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities as a child. For example, I played football with my family, went climbing, and enjoyed drawing designs. I especially liked drawing because it allowed me to be creative and relax.

제안: Give a clear opinion first, then explain it with one or two logically connected reasons. Avoid repeating the structure “the more...” several times, and use natural phrases such as “gain knowledge,” “develop experience,” and “learn about things they had never considered.” Add a specific example or result, and correct the tense in “you will have” to “you would gain” when discussing a general benefit.

예시: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities because this helps them gain experience and discover new interests. For instance, someone who tries cooking, sports, or photography may find a talent they did not know they had. It also gives people more confidence and interesting experiences to talk about.

× I did also draw a designing as a kid.

✓ I also drew designs as a kid.

Designing is generally used as a verb or an uncountable activity, so it cannot be used after a. Since you are talking about drawings in general, use the plural noun designs. Also, drew is the appropriate past-tense form for a childhood activity.

× I did also draw a designing as a kid.

✓ I also drew designs as a kid.

The sentence describes a regular activity in the past, so the simple past drew is more natural than did draw. Use did draw only when you want to add strong emphasis.

× I did also draw a designing as a kid because I used to love writing and also.

✓ I also drew designs as a kid because I used to love writing, too.

Also should be placed before the main verb in this sentence: I also drew. At the end of the sentence, use too instead of leaving also without a following idea.

× I used to climb and I used to play with my family football and I did also draw a designing as a kid because I used to love writing and also.

✓ I used to climb, play football with my family, and draw designs as a kid because I also loved writing.

The original sentence joins several ideas without clear coordination and ends with an incomplete phrase. Use parallel verb forms after used to: climb, play, and draw. Connect the activities with commas and and so the sentence is easier to follow.

× The more that you try, the more the knowledge you will have in the world, the more experience you will have.

✓ I think so, because the more you try, the more knowledge and experience you will gain.

The correlative comparative pattern is the more ..., the more .... Do not use the before the uncountable noun knowledge in this general statement. The original sentence also repeats the comparative structure awkwardly, so combining knowledge and experience makes the comparison grammatically complete.

× The more that you discover, the more you're going to talk about it and have more knowledge of things that you never even thought that you will have.

✓ The more you discover, the more you will have to talk about, and the more knowledge you will gain about things you never even thought you would learn about.

The original sentence has an unclear structure because it uses have more knowledge of things and ends with you will have without a clear object. The corrected version uses parallel structures: the more you will have to talk about and the more knowledge you will gain. It also removes the unnecessary that after thought.

× Things that you never even thought that you will have.

✓ Things you never even thought you would learn about.

After a past-tense expression such as never thought, use would to describe a future idea viewed from the past. Would learn about is also more precise than will have because the sentence refers to discovering or learning about things.