Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Answer the question directly and give a complete reason. Correct “take apart” to “take part,” use the past tense “was” instead of “am,” and include the article “a” before “very shy kid.” Avoid repeating words such as “in” and do not end abruptly with “That’s all.” Add one specific example of an activity you did not try.

예시: No, I didn’t have many opportunities to try new activities as a child because I was a very shy kid. For example, I rarely joined sports clubs or school performances, as I felt nervous meeting new people. Looking back, I wish I had been more confident.

제안: State your opinion clearly and avoid repetition. Replace “different various things” with “a variety of activities,” “a new things” with “new things,” and “you people” with “people.” Use a natural linking phrase such as “This is because” and give a specific example or result. Avoid fillers like “uh” and the repeated conclusion.

예시: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities because they can discover new interests and develop useful skills. For example, someone who tries cooking, volunteering, or learning a language may find a hobby that becomes an important part of their life. It can also make people more confident and adaptable.

× No, I didn't have many opportunities to take apart in in new activities as a child because I am very shy kid so.

✓ No, I didn't have many opportunities to take part in new activities as a child because I was a very shy kid.

The correct fixed expression is take part in, not take apart in. The preposition in should appear only once after part.

× No, I didn't have many opportunities to take apart in in new activities as a child because I am very shy kid so.

✓ No, I didn't have many opportunities to take part in new activities as a child because I was a very shy kid.

The question refers to the student's childhood, so the reason should also be expressed in the past tense. Use was instead of am.

× No, I didn't have many opportunities to take apart in in new activities as a child because I am very shy kid so.

✓ No, I didn't have many opportunities to take part in new activities as a child because I was a very shy kid.

The singular countable noun phrase shy kid requires the indefinite article a. Say a very shy kid, not very shy kid.

× No, I didn't have many opportunities to take apart in in new activities as a child because I am very shy kid so.

✓ No, I didn't have many opportunities to take part in new activities as a child because I was a very shy kid.

Because and so should not be used together to introduce the same reason. Use because to connect the reason to the main clause, and remove so.

× Yes, I think people should try many, uh, different various things because when you explore anything, then you learn a new things from that and you gain some knowledge from that.

✓ Yes, I think people should try many different things because when you explore something, you learn new things and gain knowledge from it.

Different and various have overlapping meanings, so using both together is redundant. Use one adjective, such as different. Also, the revised sentence uses more natural wording by avoiding unnecessary repetition.

× Yes, I think people should try many, uh, different various things because when you explore anything, then you learn a new things from that and you gain some knowledge from that.

✓ Yes, I think people should try many different things because when you explore something, you learn new things and gain knowledge from it.

Things is plural, so it cannot be preceded by a, which is used with a singular noun. Use new things, not a new things.

× Yes, I think people should try many, uh, different various things because when you explore anything, then you learn a new things from that and you gain some knowledge from that.

✓ Yes, I think people should try many different things because when you explore something, you learn new things and gain knowledge from it.

The article a is not needed before the plural noun phrase new things. The correct phrase is new things.

× So I think yes, you people should try different things as they can.

✓ So, I think people should try as many different things as they can.

To express the meaning of trying the greatest possible number of things, use the paired quantifier structure as many ... as. The phrase should be as many different things as they can.