Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Answer the question directly using the past tense because it asks about your childhood. Avoid repetition and incorrect phrases such as “take participate in,” “take first tuitions,” and “I love dance.” Use “take part in,” “dance lessons,” and “dance competitions” instead. Organize your response with a clear topic sentence, followed by one or two specific details and a linking word such as “because” or “as a result.”

예시: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities as a child, but I was especially interested in dancing. I took dance lessons and sometimes participated in school dance competitions. I enjoyed them because dancing helped me express myself and become more confident.

제안: Give a direct opinion and explain it with grammatically accurate reasons. Say “as many different things as they can,” not “different things as they can,” and use “different experiences help people explore,” rather than “different things makes them explore.” Avoid repetition and fillers such as “just like I just” and “etcetera.” Support your idea with a specific personal example, using linking words such as “for example” and “also.”

예시: Yes, I think people should try as many different activities as possible because new experiences help them discover their interests and develop useful skills. For example, I enjoy cooking, dancing, and driving, and each activity has taught me something different. Trying new things can also build confidence and make life more interesting.

× Yes, I have many opportunities to take participate in, but I usually like to dance so I enjoy dancing.

✓ Yes, I had many opportunities to take part in activities, but I usually liked dancing, so I enjoyed it.

The question asks about the student's childhood, so the past tense is needed. Use had instead of have, liked instead of like, and enjoyed instead of enjoy. Also, the correct expression is take part in, not take participate in.

× Yes, I have many opportunities to take participate in, but I usually like to dance so I enjoy dancing.

✓ Yes, I had many opportunities to take part in activities, but I usually liked dancing, so I enjoyed it.

After take, use the expression take part in. Participate cannot directly follow take. To improve, learn fixed verb patterns such as take part in, participate in, and enjoy doing something.

× So I did participate in dance activities more than others so and I often take first tuitions and dance challenges.

✓ So I participated in dance activities more than in other activities, and I often took dance lessons and took part in dance challenges.

Because the answer refers to childhood, the past-tense forms participated and took are more appropriate than take. Use took dance lessons and took part in dance challenges to describe past activities clearly.

× So I did participate in dance activities more than others so and I often take first tuitions and dance challenges.

✓ So I participated in dance activities more than in other activities, and I often took dance lessons and took part in dance challenges.

The conjunctions so and are used incorrectly together. Use one suitable connector, such as and, to join the two ideas. Avoid combining unnecessary conjunctions in the same position.

× I love dance and I take many.

✓ I loved dancing and took part in many dance activities.

The verb take needs a clear object or complement, so I take many is incomplete. The revised sentence provides a complete structure and keeps the answer in the past tense.

× Yes, people should try different things as they can because different things makes them explore more.

✓ Yes, people should try as many different things as they can because different experiences help them explore more.

The phrase should be as many different things as they can. Many is used with countable plural nouns such as things. This is the standard as many ... as structure.

× Different things makes them explore more, enhance their skills, confidence.

✓ Different things make them explore more and enhance their skills and confidence.

The subject things is plural, so the verb must be make, not makes. Also, and correctly joins the two parallel verb phrases explore and enhance.

× Different things makes them explore more, enhance their skills, confidence.

✓ Different things make them explore more and enhance their skills and confidence.

Use and before the final item or idea in a coordinated list. The revised sentence clearly connects explore and enhance and also connects skills and confidence.

× Usually I also do different things just like I just umm, cooking, dancing, driving etcetera.

✓ I also usually do different things, such as cooking, dancing, and driving.

The original sentence contains unnecessary repeated words and an unclear structure. Use such as to introduce examples, and keep the examples in a parallel form: cooking, dancing, and driving.