Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Answer the question directly and use the past tense consistently because you are describing your childhood. Avoid repetition such as “I like to take” and the filler “uh.” Use a more natural phrase such as “take part in dance activities” and connect your supporting detail with “for example” or “as a result.” Also, “I always win” is quite general, so you could mention a specific type of competition or achievement.

예시: Yes, I had the opportunity to take part in dance activities when I was a child because I really enjoyed dancing. For example, I often performed in school competitions and usually stood at the front of the group. I even won a few prizes, which made me more confident and encouraged me to continue dancing.

제안: State your opinion clearly in the first sentence and use the correct structure “as many things as they can.” Avoid repeating “I” and “I think,” and replace the vague phrase “and many things” with a concise conclusion. Organize your examples with “for instance” and explain more specifically how trying different activities builds confidence, such as by helping people develop skills or overcome fear.

예시: Yes, I think people should try as many different activities as they can. For instance, I enjoy cooking, driving, cycling, swimming, and dancing, and each activity has taught me a different skill. Trying new things can make people more confident because they learn to overcome difficulties and become more independent.

× Yes, when I was a child, I like to take, I like to take, uh, participate in dance activities because I love to dance.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I liked to participate in dance activities because I loved dancing.

The answer describes experiences during childhood, so the past tense is needed. Use liked instead of like and loved instead of love. The repeated words are speech disfluencies and should be removed for a smoother answer.

× Yes, when I was a child, I like to take, I like to take, uh, participate in dance activities because I love to dance.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I liked to participate in dance activities because I loved dancing.

Participate is a complete verb and is followed directly by in. Do not use take before participate. The correct structure is participate in dance activities.

× Whenever there is a competition, I will stand in the front and I always win, so I like to dance.

✓ Whenever there was a competition, I stood at the front and always won, so I liked dancing.

This sentence continues to describe childhood experiences, so the past tense is required. Change is to was, will stand to stood, win to won, and like to liked.

× Yes, I think that people should try many things as they can, just like I I like cooking, driving, riding a bike, swimming, dancing and many things.

✓ Yes, I think that people should try as many different things as they can. I like cooking, driving, riding a bike, swimming, and dancing.

The correct quantifier structure is as many + plural noun + as. Therefore, use as many different things as they can, not many things as they can. The repeated I is a speech disfluency and should be removed.

× So I I think that people should try as they can because it it will make them confident I think.

✓ So, I think that people should try as many different things as they can because this will make them confident.

The phrase try as they can is incomplete because the plural noun after many is missing. Use try as many different things as they can. The repeated pronouns and final repeated I think should also be removed to make the sentence clear and natural.