Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer addresses the question, but the meaning is unclear because of inaccurate grammar, repeated words, and hesitations. Use the past tense consistently: say “there were” and “I felt,” rather than “there’s” and “I feel.” Also, answer directly by stating whether you took part in new activities, then give one specific example. Use a linking word such as “because” or “so” to connect your reason to the result. The phrase “take part in” is correct; avoid saying “to park in.”

예시: Yes, I had a few opportunities to try new activities as a child, such as swimming and drawing. However, I did not take part in many outdoor activities because I preferred staying at home. I was quite shy, so I usually spent my free time reading or watching television.

제안: You express a positive opinion, but the answer is repetitive and some phrases are unnatural, especially “gain more opportunity to work” and “make my passion become true.” Give a clear topic sentence, such as “Yes, I think people should try different things,” and then support it with two specific benefits. Use more natural vocabulary, such as “develop new skills,” “discover their interests,” and “turn their passion into a career.” Avoid repeating “gain,” “passion,” and “chance,” and use linking words like “because” and “as a result.”

예시: Yes, I think people should try as many different things as possible because this helps them discover their interests and develop useful skills. For example, someone might try cooking, volunteering, or learning a musical instrument. As a result, they may find a new hobby or even turn a personal interest into a career.

× When I was a child, there's a lot of activities that I haven't mentioned or haven't, uh, to park in.

✓ When I was a child, there were a lot of activities that I haven't mentioned or haven't, uh, taken part in.

The noun activities is plural, and the sentence refers to a past period. Therefore, use there were instead of there's. The phrase take part in also requires the complete verb form taken part after the auxiliary have.

× When I was a child, there's a lot of activities that I haven't mentioned or haven't, uh, to park in.

✓ When I was a child, there were a lot of activities that I haven't mentioned or haven't, uh, taken part in.

The expression to park in is not a grammatical form of take part in. After have not, use the past participle taken, forming have not taken part in.

× But at that time I feel like I'm not really an, uh, outside person.

✓ But at that time, I felt like I wasn't really an outside person.

The phrase at that time refers to a past period, so the verbs should be in the past tense: felt and was not. The article an is correct before the vowel sound in outside.

× So I usually at home and not going out.

✓ So I was usually at home and wasn't going out.

The original sentence does not contain a main verb after I. Add was to form the past-tense verb phrase was usually at home. Use wasn't going out to maintain a clear and parallel structure.

× So I usually at home and not going out.

✓ So I was usually at home and wasn't going out.

Because the answer describes the student's childhood, the verbs should be in the past tense. Use was and wasn't instead of leaving out the verb and using the present form.

× So we have to see what we have to do to in order to gain more knowledge.

✓ So we have to see what we have to do in order to gain more knowledge.

The original sentence contains two unnecessary or overlapping to phrases: do to in order to. The correct structure is see what we have to do in order to gain more knowledge.

× Gain more opportunity to work or make my passion become true.

✓ Gain more opportunities to work or make my passion become a reality.

When referring to several possible opportunities, use the plural noun opportunities after more. More opportunity can be used when opportunity is treated as an uncountable idea, but opportunities is more natural in this context.

× Gain more opportunity to work or make my passion become true.

✓ Gain more opportunities to work toward making my passion a reality.

The phrase work toward is the appropriate prepositional expression for describing progress toward a goal. After the preposition toward, use the -ing form making.

× Gain more opportunity to work or make my passion become true.

✓ Gain more opportunities to work toward making my passion a reality.

After the preposition toward, the following verb should be in the -ing form. Therefore, use making rather than make.

× We have to see what we have to do to in order to gain more knowledge, gain more opportunity to, uh, to work or make my passion, passion to become true.

✓ We have to see what we have to do in order to gain more knowledge and gain more opportunities to work toward making my passion a reality.

The original sentence contains repeated words and incomplete combinations, such as to in order to and passion to become true. A clearer structure uses and to connect the goals and work toward making my passion a reality to express the intended meaning naturally.