Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Answer the question more directly and avoid repetition, especially phrases such as “opportunities,” “as much as I can,” and “being able to.” Use the correct structure “be involved in,” rather than “be able to involve in.” Your answer also contains a confusing contrast: you say you had many opportunities, but then explain that you usually stayed at home. Clarify this contrast with a linking word such as “However” and give one specific example of an activity.

예시: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities as a child. For example, my parents encouraged me to join a swimming class and a school art club. However, I was quite shy around new people, so I usually preferred staying at home. As a result, I did not take part in as many activities as I could have.

제안: State your opinion clearly, then support it with two organized reasons and a specific example. Avoid repeating “gives you” and “as much as you can,” and replace the incomplete ending “and as well” with a complete phrase. Use more natural expressions such as “develop your skills,” “broaden your experience,” and “build confidence.” Linking words such as “Firstly,” “Moreover,” and “For example” would make your response more coherent.

예시: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities because it helps them discover their interests and develop useful skills. For example, joining a sports team can improve both physical fitness and communication skills. Moreover, trying unfamiliar things can build confidence because people learn how to deal with challenges. However, they should choose activities that genuinely interest them rather than trying everything.

× Yes, definitely I can remember I was given opportunities to be able to involve in many activities as much as I can, but I guess it's because I grew up being a shy type of person around new people so I tend to stay at home and do things.

✓ Yes, definitely. I can remember that I was given opportunities to be able to be involved in many activities as much as I could, but I guess it was because I grew up as a shy person around new people, so I tended to stay at home and do things.

The verb involve cannot be used directly after be able to in this context. The intended meaning is passive: the student received opportunities to participate in activities, so be involved is required. In the passive construction, involved is the past participle form of involve.

× Yes, definitely I can remember I was given opportunities to be able to involve in many activities as much as I can, but I guess it's because I grew up being a shy type of person around new people so I tend to stay at home and do things.

✓ Yes, definitely. I can remember that I was given opportunities to be able to be involved in many activities as much as I could, but I guess it was because I grew up as a shy person around new people, so I tended to stay at home and do things.

The student is describing childhood experiences, so the past-tense forms could, was, and tended are more appropriate than can, is, and tend. Keep the tense consistent when talking about a completed period in the past.

× Definitely yes because giving yourself the chance to try many activities as much as you can gives you the opportunity to grow, gives you time to experience things that you should be able to experience in order to hone your skills, your communication skills and as well.

✓ Definitely, yes, because giving yourself the chance to try as many activities as you can gives you the opportunity to grow and experience new things, while also helping you hone your skills, including your communication skills.

The original sentence has an incomplete and awkward ending: your communication skills and as well does not connect grammatically to the rest of the sentence. Use a clear final structure, such as including your communication skills, to show that communication skills are one example of the skills being developed. Avoid repeating gives you and experience unnecessarily in a long sentence.