Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Answer directly in the past tense because the question asks about your childhood. Avoid the vague phrase “and all of that,” and use a more natural expression such as “I also joined a drama club.” You could improve the answer by explaining which activity you enjoyed most and what you gained from it. Use linking words such as “for example” and “because” to connect your ideas.

예시: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities when I was a child. For example, I took dance classes, played cricket and basketball, and joined a drama club. I especially enjoyed dancing because it helped me become more confident and creative.

제안: Give your opinion in a clear topic sentence, then explain one or two reasons. Correct “different type of activities” to “different types of activities,” and say “a broader understanding of what they may enjoy in the future” instead of “a broader perspective that what they will like.” Avoid putting too many ideas into one long sentence; use linking words and separate your personal example into a second sentence.

예시: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities because this helps them discover their interests and develop new skills. For instance, I became very interested in dancing after trying it as a child, and it also made me more confident. However, people do not need to continue every activity if they find that it is not suitable for them.

× Yes, as a student, I have taken part in many different activities like dancing, playing cricket, playing basketball and exploring drama club and all of that.

✓ Yes, as a student, I took part in many different activities, such as dancing, playing cricket, playing basketball, and exploring a drama club.

The question asks about opportunities the student had as a child, so the answer should use the simple past tense. Have taken is present perfect, which is less appropriate for a completed period in the past. Use took part instead.

× Yes, as a student, I have taken part in many different activities like dancing, playing cricket, playing basketball and exploring drama club and all of that.

✓ Yes, as a student, I took part in many different activities, such as dancing, playing cricket, playing basketball, and exploring a drama club.

A singular countable noun such as drama club needs an article when referring to one club. Use a drama club. In addition, such as is a more natural way to introduce examples.

× According to me, yes, because when people try different type of activities, they get a broader perspective that what they will like in future and where their interest is building like I was very much into dance and I got confidence from that.

✓ In my opinion, yes, because when people try different types of activities, they gain a broader perspective on what they will like in the future and where their interests lie, as I was very interested in dancing and gained confidence from it.

The noun activities is plural, so the word describing it must also be plural: different types, not different type. Also, people generally have multiple interests in this context, so interests is more appropriate than interest.

× According to me, yes, because when people try different type of activities, they get a broader perspective that what they will like in future and where their interest is building like I was very much into dance and I got confidence from that.

✓ In my opinion, yes, because when people try different types of activities, they gain a broader perspective on what they will like in the future and where their interests lie, as I was very interested in dancing and gained confidence from it.

The phrase a broader perspective that what is incorrectly structured. Use a broader perspective on what. The original sentence also contains several ideas joined together without clear connections. Use appropriate linking expressions, such as because and as, to make the relationship between the general idea and the personal example clearer.