Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is relevant and includes specific activities and purposes. However, improve the grammar by using parallel verb forms: “tried to join” and “participate,” or “joined” and “participated.” Use the more natural phrase “a dance troupe,” remove the hesitation “uh,” and avoid combining too many ideas in one sentence. Organize the answer with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details.

예시: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities as a child. I often played outside with my friends, and at school I joined a dance troupe and participated in different events. These activities helped me make new friends and learn new skills.

제안: You express a clear opinion and give relevant reasons, but the answer contains repetition, hesitations, and several grammatical errors. Say “as many different things as they can,” not “many different things as they can.” Replace “from this things we can try a we can learn different new things and applied it to ourselves” with a concise explanation such as “Trying new activities helps people develop new skills.” Use linking words such as “For example” or “In addition” to connect your reasons clearly.

예시: Yes, I think people should try as many different things as they can. Trying new activities helps them develop new skills and become more confident. In addition, they may discover new interests and meet people with similar hobbies.

× Yes, when I was a child I spent my afternoons playing outside with my friends and at school I tried joining dance troupe and participate in different events to uh, make friends and learn new things.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I spent my afternoons playing outside with my friends, and at school I tried joining a dance troupe and participating in different events to make friends and learn new things.

The singular countable noun troupe needs the indefinite article a because it refers to one nonspecific dance troupe.

× Yes, when I was a child I spent my afternoons playing outside with my friends and at school I tried joining dance troupe and participate in different events to uh, make friends and learn new things.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I spent my afternoons playing outside with my friends, and at school I tried joining a dance troupe and participating in different events to make friends and learn new things.

The verbs joining and participating should have the same -ing form because they are coordinated after tried. Use parallel structures such as tried joining and participating.

× Yes, people should try many different things as they can because from this, from the thing, from this things we can try a we can learn different new things and applied it to ourselves.

✓ Yes, people should try as many different things as they can because, by trying these things, we can learn new things and apply what we learn to our lives.

The correct comparative quantity structure is as many + plural countable noun + as. Therefore, use as many different things as they can, not many different things as they can.

× Yes, people should try many different things as they can because from this, from the thing, from this things we can try a we can learn different new things and applied it to ourselves.

✓ Yes, people should try as many different things as they can because, by trying these things, we can learn new things and apply what we learn to our lives.

This things is incorrect because this is singular while things is plural. Use these things for a plural noun. Avoid repeating the singular and plural forms from this and these things.

× Yes, people should try many different things as they can because from this, from the thing, from this things we can try a we can learn different new things and applied it to ourselves.

✓ Yes, people should try as many different things as they can because, by trying these things, we can learn new things and apply what we learn to our lives.

The phrase we can try a we can learn is incomplete and contains two clauses joined incorrectly. Use a clear structure such as by trying these things, we can learn new things and apply what we learn to our lives.

× Yes, people should try many different things as they can because from this, from the thing, from this things we can try a we can learn different new things and applied it to ourselves.

✓ Yes, people should try as many different things as they can because, by trying these things, we can learn new things and apply what we learn to our lives.

A modal verb such as can must be followed by the base form of a verb. Therefore, use can apply, not can applied.

× Yes, people should try many different things as they can because from this, from the thing, from this things we can try a we can learn different new things and applied it to ourselves.

✓ Yes, people should try as many different things as they can because, by trying these things, we can learn new things and apply what we learn to our lives.

The pronoun it does not clearly or correctly refer to the plural idea of new things. Use what we learn or them, depending on the intended meaning. Also, apply what we learn to our lives is more natural than apply it to ourselves in this context.