Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Answer the question more directly by saying which activities you tried and who provided the opportunities. Replace the unnatural phrase “in my childhood times” with “during my childhood,” and use parallel structures such as “drawing and playing football.” Add one specific detail about your experience to make the answer more effective. Avoid fillers such as “uh” when possible.

예시: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities during my childhood. For example, I took drawing classes and played football with my classmates after school. I especially enjoyed football because it helped me make new friends and stay active.

제안: State your opinion clearly at the beginning and support it with a specific reason and example. Use the natural expression “try new things” rather than “try for new things,” and replace “are stuck with their old things” with “stick to their usual routines.” Keep the subject consistent by using “people” or “we,” instead of switching between “people” and “our.” Use a linking word such as “because” or “for example” to connect your ideas logically.

예시: Yes, I think people should try a variety of new things because it helps them discover their interests and become more confident. For example, someone who tries a new sport may find a talent they never knew they had. However, people should choose activities that suit their interests rather than trying everything without a clear purpose.

× Yeah, I got so many opportunities in my childhood times, especially in drawing, uh, playing football.

✓ Yeah, I had so many opportunities during my childhood, especially to draw and play football.

The preposition in is not natural before childhood in this context. Use during my childhood to refer to a period of time. After opportunities, use the infinitive form to draw and play to describe the activities.

× Yes, sometimes people try for new things.

✓ Yes, sometimes people try new things.

The verb try is normally followed directly by an object when it means attempting something. Therefore, remove the unnecessary preposition for: try new things.

× It depends on people, but I prefer mostly to do something new in our life.

✓ It depends on people, but I mostly prefer to do something new in my life.

The subject is I, so the possessive pronoun should agree with the speaker: my life, not our life. Our refers to the speaker and at least one other person.

× It depends on people, but I prefer mostly to do something new in our life.

✓ It depends on people, but I mostly prefer to do something new in my life.

The adverb mostly is more naturally placed before the main verb prefer. A useful pattern is subject + adverb + main verb, as in I mostly prefer.