Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Answer the question directly using the past tense. Use “I had the opportunity” rather than “we have a opportunity,” and say “when I was young” instead of “in my minor age.” Avoid fillers such as “uh” and repetition such as “etcetera, etcetera.” Add one or two specific details, such as who introduced you to the activity and why you enjoyed it.

예시: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities when I was young. For example, I learned to ride a bicycle and joined a football club at school. I particularly enjoyed football because it helped me make friends and stay active.

제안: State your opinion clearly at the beginning and connect your reasons with linking words. The examples should directly explain why people should try different things; opening a shop, working as a mechanic, and helping poor people are not logically connected to the question. Use natural phrases such as “try different activities,” “develop new skills,” and “discover their interests.”

예시: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities, although they do not need to do everything. Trying new things can help them discover their interests and develop useful skills. For example, someone might try cooking, volunteering, or learning a musical instrument and then choose the activity they enjoy most.

× Yes, we have a opportunity to uh, get in my minor age like uh cycling and uh study my hobbies are playing football etcetera, etcetera.

✓ Yes, we have an opportunity to, uh, participate in activities such as cycling and studying. My hobbies are playing football, etcetera.

Use an before opportunity because opportunity begins with a vowel sound. The article a changes to an in this context.

× Yes, we have a opportunity to uh, get in my minor age like uh cycling and uh study my hobbies are playing football etcetera, etcetera.

✓ Yes, we had an opportunity to, uh, participate in activities such as cycling and studying when I was a child. My hobbies were playing football, etcetera.

The question asks about childhood, so use the past tense. Had, was, and were describe experiences and hobbies in the past.

× Yes, we have a opportunity to uh, get in my minor age like uh cycling and uh study my hobbies are playing football etcetera, etcetera.

✓ Yes, we had an opportunity to participate in activities such as cycling and studying when I was a child.

Get in my minor age is not a natural prepositional expression in English. Use when I was a child or during my childhood to refer to that period of life.

× Yes, we have a opportunity to uh, get in my minor age like uh cycling and uh study my hobbies are playing football etcetera, etcetera.

✓ Yes, we had an opportunity to participate in activities such as cycling and studying when I was a child. My hobbies were playing football, etcetera.

After such as, use nouns or gerunds consistently. Cycling and studying are parallel -ing forms, so study should be changed to studying.

× Yes, we have a opportunity to uh, get in my minor age like uh cycling and uh study my hobbies are playing football etcetera, etcetera.

✓ Yes, we had an opportunity to participate in activities such as cycling and studying when I was a child. My hobbies included playing football, etcetera.

The original sentence combines several incomplete ideas without clear connections. Divide it into two sentences and use such as to introduce examples clearly.

× Yes, people do many types of things that they can open a grocery shop and the mechanic work and open a showroom of a bike and they would help many types of poor people.

✓ Yes, people should try many different things, such as opening a grocery shop, doing mechanical work, opening a bike showroom, and helping poor people.

The question asks whether people should try different activities, so should is the appropriate modal verb for giving an opinion or recommendation. Use it instead of the unrelated structure do many types of things.

× Yes, people do many types of things that they can open a grocery shop and the mechanic work and open a showroom of a bike and they would help many types of poor people.

✓ Yes, people should try many different things, such as opening a grocery shop, doing mechanical work, opening a bike showroom, and helping poor people.

After such as, use parallel gerund forms when listing activities. Opening, doing, opening, and helping have the same grammatical form.

× Yes, people do many types of things that they can open a grocery shop and the mechanic work and open a showroom of a bike and they would help many types of poor people.

✓ Yes, people should try many different things, such as opening a grocery shop, doing mechanical work, opening a bike showroom, and helping poor people.

The original sentence has an unclear structure and incorrectly joins several activities with and. Use such as and a parallel list to make the meaning clear.