Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答の冒頭で直接「Yes, I did.」と答え、その後に具体的な活動を1つ説明してください。「I had new activities」「I had an opportunity to take part in the dance」のような不自然な重複は避け、「I had the opportunity to take dance lessons」と表現すると自然です。また、「my parents wanted me wanted me」の繰り返しを修正し、過去形を一貫して使いましょう。最後に、活動の結果や感想を1文加えると、内容がより具体的になります。

예시: Yes, I did. When I was a child, my parents encouraged me to take dance lessons. I attended classes for several years, and I really enjoyed performing in front of other people.

제안: 最初に「Yes, I think people should try different things.」のように明確な主張を述べてください。「any skills many different skills」や「absorb many skills than adults」は不自然なので、「develop a wide range of skills」や「children tend to learn new skills more easily than adults」と言い換えましょう。理由を1つに整理し、「because」や「for example」などの linking words でつないでください。最後の「So I think so」は重複しているため削除し、具体例で締めると効果的です。

예시: Yes, I think people should try as many different things as possible, especially when they are young. Children can develop a wide range of skills because they often learn new things more quickly than adults. For example, trying sports, music, and art can help them discover their interests and strengths.

× Yes, I had new activities I had an opportunity to take part in the dance when I was a child my parents wanted me wanted me to practice dance so I had opportunity to

✓ Yes, I had the opportunity to try new activities when I was a child. My parents wanted me to practice dancing, so I had the opportunity to take part in dance classes.

The original answer contains several clauses joined without appropriate punctuation or conjunctions, and it ends with an incomplete clause. Divide the ideas into complete sentences and finish the final idea clearly.

× Yes, I had new activities I had an opportunity to take part in the dance when I was a child my parents wanted me wanted me to practice dance so I had opportunity to

✓ Yes, I had the opportunity to try new activities when I was a child. My parents wanted me to practice dancing, so I had the opportunity to take part in dance classes.

Opportunity is a singular countable noun, so it needs an article or determiner. Use the opportunity when referring to a specific opportunity that the speaker had. Do not say had opportunity.

× Yes, I had new activities I had an opportunity to take part in the dance when I was a child my parents wanted me wanted me to practice dance so I had opportunity to

✓ Yes, I had the opportunity to try new activities when I was a child. My parents wanted me to practice dancing, so I had the opportunity to take part in dance classes.

After practice, use a gerund ending in -ing when referring to an activity. Therefore, practice dancing is correct, not practice dance. Remember this common pattern: practice + verb-ing.

× Yeah, I think so and especially as a child that people should try any skills many different skills because they can absorb many skills than adults. So I think so.

✓ Yes, I think so. Especially when they are children, people should try as many different skills as possible because children can learn new skills more easily than adults.

The original sentence has an unclear structure in the phrase especially as a child that people and repeats the same idea several times. Use a complete clause such as when they are children and organize the answer into a clear reason-and-result structure.

× Yeah, I think so and especially as a child that people should try any skills many different skills because they can absorb many skills than adults. So I think so.

✓ Yes, I think so. Especially when they are children, people should try as many different skills as possible because children can learn new skills more easily than adults.

Any is generally used in questions, negatives, or conditional sentences, so it is not appropriate here. To express a large number without a fixed limit, use as many different skills as possible.

× Yeah, I think so and especially as a child that people should try any skills many different skills because they can absorb many skills than adults. So I think so.

✓ Yes, I think so. Especially when they are children, people should try as many different skills as possible because children can learn new skills more easily than adults.

The phrase many skills than adults is not a correct comparative structure. When comparing how people learn, use the comparative adverb more easily followed by than adults. Also, adults should be compared with children, not with skills.