Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Answer the question directly and use accurate, natural expressions. Say “I didn’t have many opportunities” rather than “I didn’t take part of,” and replace “mediocol activity” with a specific activity, such as “musical activities” or “extracurricular activities.” Use past-tense forms consistently, such as “had memorable adventures” and “went mountain climbing.” Organize the answer with a clear contrast using “however” and give one or two specific examples.

예시: Not really. I was quite shy as a child, so I didn’t take part in many extracurricular activities. However, I had some memorable adventures with my family, such as going mountain climbing and visiting different cities.

제안: State your opinion with a natural structure: “Yes, I think people should…” Correct the grammar in “I am strongly advise” and use “gain experience and develop their skills.” Avoid repeating “try new things” and “interesting.” Add a specific result or example, and finish with a complete sentence instead of “when they possibly.” Use linking words such as “because” and “for example” to make the answer more coherent.

예시: Yes, definitely. I think people should try different activities because they can gain valuable experience and develop new skills. For example, learning a musical instrument or playing a new sport may help them discover an interest they never knew they had.

× No, I didn't because as a quiet shy child, I didn't take part of the mediocol activity, but I have memorable adventures with my family like going in the climbing mountain and journey around the cities.

✓ No, I didn't, because, as a quiet, shy child, I didn't take part in the activity, but I had memorable adventures with my family, such as going mountain climbing and traveling around cities.

The fixed expression is take part in, not take part of. Use in after take part when referring to participation in an activity.

× No, I didn't because as a quiet shy child, I didn't take part of the mediocol activity, but I have memorable adventures with my family like going in the climbing mountain and journey around the cities.

✓ No, I didn't, because, as a quiet, shy child, I didn't take part in the activity, but I had memorable adventures with my family, such as going mountain climbing and traveling around cities.

The question asks about your childhood, which is a finished period in the past. Therefore, use the past form had instead of the present perfect form have.

× No, I didn't because as a quiet shy child, I didn't take part of the mediocol activity, but I have memorable adventures with my family like going in the climbing mountain and journey around the cities.

✓ No, I didn't, because, as a quiet, shy child, I didn't take part in the activity, but I had memorable adventures with my family, such as going mountain climbing and traveling around cities.

The natural expression is go mountain climbing. The preposition in is not used between going and mountain climbing.

× No, I didn't because as a quiet shy child, I didn't take part of the mediocol activity, but I have memorable adventures with my family like going in the climbing mountain and journey around the cities.

✓ No, I didn't, because, as a quiet, shy child, I didn't take part in the activity, but I had memorable adventures with my family, such as going mountain climbing and traveling around cities.

The activities after such as should have parallel forms. Because the first activity is going, the second should be traveling, not the noun-like form journey.

× Yes, I am strongly advise the people to try the new things because when they try new things they gain the experience and their skills and discovering you interesting a new interesting thing. So I advise them to try when they possibly

✓ Yes, I strongly advise people to try new things because when they try new things, they gain experience, develop their skills, and discover something interesting. Therefore, I advise them to try as many things as possible.

I strongly advise is an active structure in which I is the subject performing the action. Do not use am before advise. The form am advised would be passive and would have a different meaning.

× Yes, I am strongly advise the people to try the new things because when they try new things they gain the experience and their skills and discovering you interesting a new interesting thing. So I advise them to try when they possibly

✓ Yes, I strongly advise people to try new things because when they try new things, they gain experience, develop their skills, and discover something interesting. Therefore, I advise them to try as many things as possible.

Use people and new things without the when speaking about people and things in general. Also, experience is normally an uncountable noun in this meaning, so say gain experience rather than gain the experience.

× Yes, I am strongly advise the people to try the new things because when they try new things they gain the experience and their skills and discovering you interesting a new interesting thing. So I advise them to try when they possibly

✓ Yes, I strongly advise people to try new things because when they try new things, they gain experience, develop their skills, and discover something interesting. Therefore, I advise them to try as many things as possible.

The verbs in the list must be parallel: gain, develop, and discover. Since gain and develop are in the base form after they, use discover rather than discovering.

× Yes, I am strongly advise the people to try the new things because when they try new things they gain the experience and their skills and discovering you interesting a new interesting thing. So I advise them to try when they possibly

✓ Yes, I strongly advise people to try new things because when they try new things, they gain experience, develop their skills, and discover something interesting. Therefore, I advise them to try as many things as possible.

The natural adjective placement is something interesting. Do not place interesting before something in this structure. Also, use something rather than you because you is a pronoun for a person, not an unspecified thing.

× Yes, I am strongly advise the people to try the new things because when they try new things they gain the experience and their skills and discovering you interesting a new interesting thing. So I advise them to try when they possibly

✓ Yes, I strongly advise people to try new things because when they try new things, they gain experience, develop their skills, and discover something interesting. Therefore, I advise them to try as many things as possible.

The ending when they possibly is incomplete because possibly cannot stand alone in this sentence. Use the complete expression as many things as possible. This clearly expresses the idea of trying the greatest possible number of activities.