Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve clarity, tense consistency and sentence structure. Begin with a clear topic sentence addressing the past, then give one or two specific supporting details using past tense and linking words. Avoid repetition and unnecessary phrases; keep answers within 2–4 sentences.

예시: No, I didn't have many opportunities to try new activities when I was a child. For example, my family moved often, so I couldn't join long-term clubs like football or music classes. As a result, I wish I had been able to explore more hobbies when I was younger.

제안: Make the main opinion clear in one sentence, then support it with two specific reasons connected by linking words. Use accurate vocabulary and smoother phrasing; avoid repeating phrases like “what they want.” Keep it concise (2–3 sentences).

예시: Yes, people should try many different activities because it helps them discover interests and develop new skills. For instance, trying travel, cooking, or dance can broaden perspectives and increase confidence, so I encourage everyone to explore activities that interest them.

× No, nowadays we don't I don't have any opportunity but I want new activities in my childhood era because I don't do anything in my childhood era.

✓ No, I didn't have any opportunities when I was a child, but I wanted to try new activities during my childhood.

The original sentence mixes present and past tenses and has redundant phrases like 'childhood era' and 'nowadays we don't'. This is a sentence structure error (26). Use consistent past tense for childhood experiences, correct subject-verb forms, and remove redundant words. Suggestion: use 'I didn't have any opportunities when I was a child' and 'I wanted to try new activities during my childhood.'

× So I want that opportunity in my child.

✓ So I wanted that opportunity in my childhood.

The phrase 'in my child' uses an incorrect noun form; 'child' should be the noun referring to a person, not a time. This is an incorrect use of pronouns/word choice (12). Also tense should be past to match the time reference. Use 'in my childhood' and past tense 'wanted.'

× That's it.

✓ That's all.

'That's it' is informal and can be acceptable, but 'That's all' is clearer in this context. This is a minor sentence structure/word choice issue (26). Use 'That's all' to conclude politely.

× Yes, people should try as many different things as they can because their own choice what they want, what they do, some people traveled, some people like quick cooking, some people like dancing so in my opinion people should try different things what they want if they want.

✓ Yes, people should try as many different things as they can because it helps them discover their preferences. Some people travel, some enjoy quick cooking, and some like dancing. In my opinion, people should try the things they are interested in.

The original contains tense inconsistencies (past 'traveled' vs present 'like'), missing subjects and connectors, and awkward phrases like 'their own choice what they want' and 'different things what they want.' This is primarily a present tense and sentence structure issue (6 and 26). Use consistent present tense for general statements, add connectors, and rephrase 'things they are interested in' for clarity.