Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is relevant and shows a range of activities, but it is long, slightly repetitive, and has some unclear words (e.g. “skids”). To improve: 1) Start with a clear topic sentence. 2) Use 2–3 specific examples with brief details (when, what you learned, or how you felt). 3) Avoid repetition and fix vocabulary mistakes. 4) Keep the response within 3–4 sentences and use linking words like “for example” or “as a result.”

예시: Yes. At school I took part in many activities, such as choir and dance, and I also played on the basketball and hockey teams. For example, joining the choir helped me improve my confidence in public speaking, and playing team sports taught me teamwork and discipline.

제안: Your answer expresses a clear opinion but is repetitive and has awkward phrasing. To improve: 1) Give a concise topic sentence stating your view. 2) Provide one or two clear reasons with a linking word (e.g. “because” or “for example”). 3) Use precise vocabulary (e.g. “sticking to one thing” instead of “switching to the same activity goes sometimes”). 4) Limit to 2–3 sentences and avoid repeating similar verbs like “learn” and “teach.”

예시: Yes, I think people should try different activities because it broadens their skills and perspectives. For example, trying sports can improve fitness and teamwork, while learning a musical instrument can boost concentration and creativity.

× Yes, during my schooling I used to take part in all kind of activities like choir, intercultural activities, dance, as well as skids and also I was part of the basketball team as well as the hockey team, this made me a centre of attraction in my school. Also, I used to take a few new activities as well.

✓ Yes, during my schooling I used to take part in all kinds of activities like choir, intercultural activities, dance, as well as skits, and I was part of the basketball team and the hockey team; this made me a centre of attention in my school. I also used to try a few new activities.

The phrase 'all kind of' is incorrect; the correct form is 'all kinds of' (plural) when referring to multiple types (quantifier error). 'Skids' is likely a misspelling of 'skits' (word choice). The sentence is a run-on; use punctuation to separate clauses. 'Centre of attraction' is an awkward collocation; 'centre of attention' is idiomatic. The second sentence used 'take a few new activities' which is unnatural; 'try a few new activities' uses the correct verb for attempting activities. Suggestion: use 'all kinds of', correct vocabulary ('skits'), break into shorter clauses, and use 'try' for activities.

× Switching to the same activity goes sometimes or also it limits our experience to the other activities as well.

✓ Sticking to the same activity sometimes limits our experience of other activities.

The original sentence has awkward structure and unnecessary words ('goes sometimes or also it') creating confusion (sentence structure error). 'Switching to the same activity' is semantically incorrect; likely meant 'sticking to' or 'doing' the same activity. 'Limits our experience to the other activities' is incorrect preposition and phrasing; use 'limits our experience of other activities'. Suggestion: simplify the sentence, choose correct verb (stick/do), and use 'experience of' rather than 'experience to'.

× So, people should try to go on different activities and explore more and learn more and teach more as well.

✓ So, people should try different activities to explore more, learn more, and teach others as well.

The phrase 'try to go on different activities' uses an incorrect preposition 'on' and an unnecessary 'go'; the correct collocation is 'try different activities' or 'take part in different activities' (preposition error). Also 'teach more as well' is vague; 'teach others as well' clarifies the object. Suggestion: use 'try different activities' or 'take part in different activities', and make the list parallel ('explore, learn, and teach').