Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No) and give one or two specific details with linking words. Correct grammar (use past tense consistently) and avoid filler phrases like "I didn't remember clearly"—replace with "I don't remember exactly" or "I vaguely remember." Limit to 2–3 sentences and use clearer vocabulary (e.g., "music and dance classes").

예시: Yes. I vaguely remember that my mother enrolled me in music and dance classes when I was a child. As a result, I learned to sing fairly well and gained confidence performing in front of others.

제안: Give a concise opinion first and then one clear reason with an example. Improve sentence structure and word choice: use phrases like "discover what they enjoy" or "develop useful skills." Avoid wordy or unclear phrases such as "ability to complete." Keep within 2–3 sentences and use a linking word (e.g., "because" or "so").

예시: Yes, I believe people should try many different activities because it helps them discover what they enjoy and develop useful skills. For example, trying sports or art in school can reveal a talent that could influence future studies or career choices.

× Oh, I didn't remember clearly, but if I'm not mistaken, when I was a child my mom always sent me to a school that teaches how to sing and dance, and at that time I remember I sang a kind of well thanks to that.

✓ Oh, I don't remember clearly, but if I'm not mistaken, when I was a child my mom always sent me to a school that taught how to sing and dance, and at that time I remember I sang fairly well thanks to that.

Multiple tense inconsistencies: 'didn't remember' is incorrect for present recollection—use present simple 'don't remember'. 'teaches' should be past 'taught' because it refers to a past habit. 'I sang a kind of well' is ungrammatical; use 'sang fairly well' to express degree. Suggestion: keep past tense for actions in childhood and use clear adverbial phrases for degree. (Grammar problem type ID:5 Past tense issue)

× Sure, absolutely. I think people can try to figure it out what they can enjoy most and what they have a big passion and ability to complete, and then they will find exactly their unique hobbies and skill that can help them later.

✓ Sure, absolutely. I think people can try to figure out what they enjoy most and what they are passionate about and able to do, and then they will find their unique hobbies and skills that can help them later.

Errors with verb+ -ing and verb patterns: 'try to figure it out what' is incorrect—use 'try to figure out what'. 'have a big passion' is awkward; use 'are passionate about'. 'ability to complete' is incorrect collocation; use 'able to do'. Also number agreement: 'hobbies and skill' should be plural 'skills'. Suggestion: use correct verb patterns (figure out + clause), use 'passionate about' for emotion, and match plural nouns appropriately. (Grammar problem type ID:8 Verb + -ing form)