Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve clarity, grammar and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence, use correct past tense and precise vocabulary, and add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid redundant or unclear phrases.

예시: Yes. My parents enrolled me in several extracurricular classes when I was a child. For example, I took beginner guitar lessons for two years and attended a kids’ gymnastics club once a week, which I really enjoyed because it helped me build confidence and coordination.

제안: Make the response more concise and natural. Begin with a clear opinion, then provide one or two specific reasons linked with connecting words. Use simpler, more precise vocabulary and avoid vague phrases like "different horizons and beyond."

예시: Yes, I believe people should try as many new activities as they can. Trying different things broadens your skills and perspectives; for instance, learning a language can improve communication and studying art can boost creativity, both of which are useful in work and daily life.

× Yes, when I was a child, my parents tend to send me to some different course classes such as hearts how to learn guitar, this kind of stuff and also how to gym as BB gym gosses. That was very fun at that time.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, my parents tended to send me to various courses, such as a guitar class and gymnastics at BB Gym. That was very fun at the time.

Grammar problem type ID:5 Past tense issue; ID:11 Incorrect use of prepositions; ID:13 Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs; ID:26 Sentence structure errors. Explanation: 'tend to send' uses present habitual tense which conflicts with 'when I was a child' (past context); change to 'tended to send' to match past. 'some different course classes' is awkward and ungrammatical—use 'various courses' or 'different classes'. 'hearts how to learn guitar' appears to be incorrect word choice and ordering; replace with 'a guitar class'. 'also how to gym as BB gym gosses' is ungrammatical and unclear; likely meant 'and gymnastics at BB Gym' so use that phrasing. 'That was very fun at that time' is redundant; 'at the time' is natural. Suggestion: Keep verb tenses consistent, choose precise nouns (course, class, gymnastics), and simplify phrases to improve clarity.

× I firmly believe that people should try as many things that they can possibly handle.

✓ I firmly believe that people should try as many things as they can possibly handle.

Grammar problem type ID:16 Incorrect conjunction/use of linking words and ID:26 Sentence structure errors. Explanation: The phrase 'as many things that they can possibly handle' uses 'that' incorrectly after 'as many things'; the correct comparative structure is 'as many ... as'. Removing 'that' yields 'as many things as they can possibly handle.' Suggestion: Use correct 'as...as' structure for comparisons and avoid inserting 'that' after 'as many'.

× It will allow them to practice more and see different horizons and beyond that they could imagine sometimes, which as a result could be very relevant and useful for them.

✓ It will allow them to practice more and to see different horizons beyond what they could sometimes imagine, which can be very relevant and useful for them.

Grammar problem type ID:6 Present tense issue; ID:11 Incorrect use of prepositions; ID:13 Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs; ID:26 Sentence structure errors. Explanation: 'see different horizons and beyond that they could imagine sometimes' is awkward and ungrammatical. Use 'beyond what they could sometimes imagine' to express the idea. Change 'which as a result could be' to simpler 'which can be' to match the general statement following 'it will allow' (future effect). Also add 'to' before 'see' for parallel infinitive structure: 'allow them to practice... and to see...' Suggestion: Maintain parallel structure for verb phrases, use 'beyond what' to introduce the imagined limit, and prefer 'can be' for general results.