Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give 2–3 specific examples and a brief reason. Use linking words (for example, however, and) and correct verbs (e.g., "attend" vs "ascending"). Avoid redundancy and keep to under five sentences.

예시: To be honest, I didn't have many opportunities to try new activities as a child. However, my family encouraged me to join a few organized activities, for example the local gym, tennis lessons, and piano classes. I enjoyed these because they helped me build discipline and make friends.

제안: Provide a clear direct answer, then support it with two balanced reasons using linking words. Fix grammar and word choice (e.g., "struggling themselves" → "stretch themselves too thin"). Complete your thought—don't leave the sentence unfinished. Keep within five sentences.

예시: Yes, people should try different things, but they should do so sensibly. For example, exploring new hobbies can help you discover interests and develop skills, but trying too many activities at once can make you feel overwhelmed. So it's better to try a few things at a time and commit to them long enough to see if you enjoy them.

× To be honest, no, I didn't have really much of opportunities, but I can say that my family helped me a lot with what activities I should attend like gym, playing tennis, playing piano and I really enjoyed ascending to them.

✓ To be honest, no, I didn't have many opportunities, but my family helped me decide which activities I should attend, like going to the gym, playing tennis, and playing the piano, and I really enjoyed them.

This sentence has several issues: incorrect quantifier 'really much of opportunities' should be 'many opportunities' (Grammar problem type ID 14: Incorrect use of quantifiers) and awkward structure 'helped me a lot with what activities I should attend' should be 'helped me decide which activities I should attend' (Grammar problem type ID 26: Sentence structure errors). Also 'like gym' needs the gerund or article 'going to the gym' and 'playing piano' should be 'playing the piano' (Grammar problem type ID 17: Incorrect use of the definite article). 'I really enjoyed ascending to them' uses the wrong verb 'ascending'; it should be 'enjoyed them' (Grammar problem type ID 26 and 13). Suggestion: simplify and reorder the sentence: state the negative, then contrast with the family's help, use 'many' for countable plural, use 'decide which' for choices, use appropriate forms for activities (going to the gym, playing tennis, playing the piano), and use 'enjoyed them' to refer back to the activities.

× I think yes, but they should be careful with it.

✓ I think so, but they should be careful about it.

'I think yes' is unnatural; use 'I think so' (Grammar problem type ID 26: Sentence structure errors). Preposition 'with' after 'careful' is incorrect in this context; use 'careful about' (Grammar problem type ID 11: Incorrect use of prepositions). Suggestion: say 'I think so, but they should be careful about it.'

× They should not be trying so many things and struggling theirselves.

✓ They should not try so many things and struggle themselves.

The original uses progressive 'be trying' unnecessarily; use simple infinitive after 'should' (Grammar problem type ID 4: Modal verb usage). 'Theirselves' is nonstandard; the correct reflexive pronoun is 'themselves' (Grammar problem type ID 15: Incorrect reflexive pronoun use). Additionally, 'struggle themselves' is awkward; better is 'end up struggling' or 'find themselves struggling.' Suggestion: 'They should not try so many things and end up finding themselves struggling.'

× But I think people should try different things to

✓ But I think people should try different things.

The sentence ends abruptly with a trailing 'to' and lacks a verb or complement, making it incomplete (Grammar problem type ID 23: Sentence without a verb and ID 26: Sentence structure errors). Remove the dangling 'to' to complete the sentence: 'people should try different things.' If the speaker intended a purpose, add it: '...try different things to discover what they like.' Suggestion: complete the thought by removing 'to' or adding the purpose clause.