Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Clarify and simplify the response. Start with a clear topic sentence saying whether you had opportunities, then give 1–2 specific examples and one brief detail about each. Use correct words and simple grammar rather than unclear phrases. For example, replace unclear words (e.g., “tumours”, “Caris”, “Barrise Paling Kidicat”) with accurate vocabulary and link ideas with a short connector such as “for example” or “so”. Keep the answer to no more than 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I had many opportunities to try new activities as a child. For example, my family encouraged me to join swimming lessons and music classes, and I tried painting at a local club. These experiences helped me discover new interests and build confidence.

제안: Give a direct opinion and support it with clear reasons and one specific example. Avoid confusing pronoun references and incorrect grammar. Use linking words like “because” or “for example” to connect your opinion and reasons. Keep the answer concise (2–3 sentences) and use relevant vocabulary such as “experience”, “skills”, or “interests”.

예시: Yes, people should try as many different things as possible because it helps them discover new interests and develop skills. For example, trying both sports and art allowed me to find that I enjoy hockey more than football and also appreciate painting.

× Yes, I had tumours opportunities I was a child my family in Caris every day discovered a new Barrise Paling Kidicat,

✓ Yes, I had numerous opportunities when I was a child; my family in Caris discovered something new every day.

The original sentence has multiple sentence structure issues: incorrect words (tumours should be numerous; Barrise Paling Kidicat is unclear and likely word salad), missing conjunctions and prepositions (no 'when' after 'opportunities'), and incorrect word order. Corrections: replace wrong words with appropriate vocabulary ('numerous'), add the subordinating conjunction 'when' to introduce the time clause, and split into two coordinated clauses or use a semicolon to improve clarity. Suggestion: write one clear idea per clause, use correct vocabulary, and connect clauses with proper conjunctions or punctuation.

× Yes, people think differently because one men too Old Men different thinkings.

✓ Yes, people think differently because some men, especially older men, think differently.

The original sentence has subject-verb and noun-number problems: 'one men' mixes singular and plural, 'Old Men' is capitalized unnecessarily, and 'thinkings' is not a correct noun form. Use 'some men' or 'some people' for plural reference, keep adjectives lowercase, and use the verb 'think' or the adjective 'different' rather than 'thinkings.' Also ensure parallel structure: 'some men... think differently.'

× I think I play cricket birds others main thing he play football, he liked painting but I like hockey.

✓ I think some people play cricket while others mainly play football; he liked painting, but I like hockey.

The original sentence misuses pronouns and lacks clear referents: 'birds' is likely 'but', 'others main thing' is ungrammatical, and subject references switch confusingly ('he' and 'I'). Corrections clarify pronoun referents ('some people', 'others') and connect contrasting ideas with 'while' or conjunctions. Use commas and semicolons to separate clauses and maintain consistent tense: 'liked' for past preference of 'he' and 'like' for the speaker's present preference. Suggestion: identify each subject clearly and use consistent pronouns and conjunctions to show contrast.