Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct tense and article usage, and avoid fragments. For example, combine sentences and fix errors like “an opportunity to take part in new activity” -> “an opportunity to take part in a new activity,” and “they have noticed. A great ability.” -> “they noticed my ability.”

예시: Yes. I had the chance to try swimming when I was a child because my school offered lessons. Although swimming is uncommon in Pakistan, my teachers noticed I was a fast learner, so they selected me for the school swim team. That experience helped me become more confident and disciplined.

제안: Organize the answer with a clear topic sentence and two specific supporting reasons using linking words. Fix grammar (plural/singular agreement, articles) and reduce repetition. Use more precise vocabulary such as “broaden their skills” or “create opportunities.”

예시: Yes, people should try many different activities because it broadens their skills and can open new opportunities. For example, learning public speaking can improve confidence, and trying a technical hobby like coding could lead to a new career path. Therefore, experimenting with activities often leads to personal and professional growth.

× I had an opportunity to take part in new activity as a child and that activity was swimming.

✓ I had an opportunity to take part in a new activity as a child, and that activity was swimming.

The noun phrase 'new activity' needs the indefinite article 'a' because it is a singular, countable noun introduced for the first time. Also a comma before 'and' improves clarity when joining two independent clauses.

× Swimming is not common in Pakistan but fortunately I got a chance to swim in my school.

✓ Swimming was not common in Pakistan, but fortunately I got a chance to swim at my school.

The speaker refers to childhood (past) so 'is' should be 'was' to match past context. Use 'at my school' rather than 'in my school' for activities that take place at an institution. A comma before 'but' improves readability.

× My school selected me as a child swimmer because they have noticed.

✓ My school selected me as a child swimmer because they had noticed.

The reporting verb 'selected' is past, so the noticing should use past perfect 'had noticed' (or simple past 'noticed') to maintain correct sequence of events. Also 'they' referring to 'my school' is acceptable as a collective, but past tense is required.

× A great ability.

✓ I had a great ability.

The original is a sentence fragment lacking a verb and subject. Adding 'I had' makes it a complete sentence that connects to the previous idea.

× I think so people should try as many different thing as they can because it can develop great skill in them and learning new things can be a life changing opportunity.

✓ I think so; people should try as many different things as they can because it can develop great skills in them, and learning new things can be a life-changing opportunity.

Multiple issues: 'thing' should be plural 'things' (singular/plural error), 'skill' should be plural 'skills' to match 'many' and countable context, and 'life changing' needs a hyphen as a compound adjective 'life-changing'. Also adding punctuation (semicolon/comma) improves sentence flow.

× When you are juggling different skills and you're learning more and more, new paths and new opportunities comes.

✓ When you are juggling different skills and you're learning more and more, new paths and new opportunities come.

The subject 'new paths and new opportunities' is plural, so the verb should be 'come' (plural) not 'comes' (singular).