Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more specific and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then give one or two brief supporting details with linking words. Correct small grammar mistakes (e.g., 'used to play cricket and football', avoid repeating 'when I was a child'). Aim for 2–4 sentences and include a short reason or example.

예시: Not really. I didn’t have many chances to try new activities as a child, although I used to play cricket and football regularly. Because my family was busy and lived far from sports clubs, most of my time was spent playing with neighborhood friends rather than exploring other hobbies.

제안: Clarify the main idea and fix vocabulary/grammar errors. Use a clear topic sentence saying whether people should try new things, then give two concise, linked reasons with correct word choices (e.g., 'many activities' not 'money activities'). Avoid vague phrases like 'many of it' and use linking words (because, for example, moreover). Keep within 2–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I believe people should try as many different things as possible because new experiences broaden your skills and open up opportunities. For example, learning different hobbies or jobs can help you discover talents and build confidence, and moreover it keeps your mind active and adaptable.

× When I was a child, I did not have opportunities to participate in new activities.

✓ When I was a child, I did not have many opportunities to participate in new activities.

The original sentence is understandable but sounds unnatural because of the missing quantifier 'many' before 'opportunities'. This is a past tense sentence, so keep 'did not have' but add 'many' to correctly quantify countable noun 'opportunities'. Suggestion: use 'many opportunities' with past tense verbs for clarity.

× But yeah, I used to play cricket, football when I was a child.

✓ But yeah, I used to play cricket and football when I was a child.

The structure 'used to' is correct for past habitual actions, but the list of sports needs the conjunction 'and' between items. This is not a tense error but a coordination issue; it fits the allowed list as a verb-related past habit. Suggestion: add 'and' to join the nouns: 'cricket and football.'

× People should definitely try money activities as money as they can because they give them the they shape their lives and give them most opportunities throughout the world.

✓ People should definitely try as many activities as they can because these activities help shape their lives and give them more opportunities around the world.

Multiple problems: 'money' is a wrong word; it should be 'many' (quantifier) and the phrase order 'as many activities as they can' is the correct comparative structure (Grammar problem type 14: Incorrect use of quantifiers and 26: Sentence structure errors). 'the they shape their lives' is ungrammatical and should be 'help shape their lives.' 'most opportunities' is vague; 'more opportunities' is the intended comparative. Suggestions: use 'as many activities as they can' for the comparative quantifier, replace 'give them the they shape' with 'help shape,' and use 'more opportunities around the world' for clarity.

× And these new activities in our life play a sound mind and many of it.

✓ And these new activities in our lives contribute to a sound mind and bring many benefits.

Problems include wrong pronoun/possessive form 'in our life' (should be plural 'in our lives' when speaking generally) — (Grammar problem type 12). 'play a sound mind' is ungrammatical; a verb like 'contribute to' or 'promote' should be used with the noun phrase 'a sound mind' (Grammar problem type 26). 'many of it' is incorrect pronoun reference and number; use 'bring many benefits' to clearly express the idea. Suggestion: use 'contribute to a sound mind' and 'bring many benefits' and change 'our life' to 'our lives.'