Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise, coherent and accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammatical errors, avoid repetition, and give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep answers to no more than five sentences.

예시: Yes. At school I joined the school band, where I played the saxophone. This activity helped me develop confidence and discipline because we practised every week and performed at assemblies. As a result, I became more comfortable speaking in front of people and working with others.

제안: Answer directly with a clear opinion, avoid fillers and repetition, and use linking words to organise reasons. Provide specific reasons or examples (two at most) to support your view, and keep sentences grammatical and concise.

예시: Yes, people should try many different activities because it helps them discover their strengths and interests. For example, joining a sports club can reveal athletic talent, while volunteering can improve communication and teamwork skills. Therefore, trying new things broadens experience and helps personal growth.

× Yes, during my childhood days in my school, I had got an opportunity to take part in the school band and we used to play, I used to play Jax and and the school band and the band said and this helps you to develop confidence and.

✓ Yes, during my childhood at school, I had the opportunity to take part in the school band. We used to play together, and I played the saxophone. Being in the band helped me develop confidence.

The original sentence mixes tenses and uses incorrect past perfect 'had got' where simple past or past habitual is appropriate. It also contains repetition and unclear phrases ('Jax and and the school band and the band said'). Use simple past and past habitual 'used to' consistently for repeated past actions. Break into shorter sentences for clarity and replace 'had got' with 'had' or 'had the opportunity'. Specify the instrument (saxophone) if intended and use 'helped' (past) to match the past context. Suggestion: Use simple past for completed past events ('I had the opportunity', 'I played') and 'used to' for habitual past actions ('We used to play'). Remove repetitions and correct unclear words.

× Uh, yes, I thank the people should try different, uh, different things so that they know in which they have the great talent and uh, uh, then only they can improve their, uh, uh, social skills and the team team teamwork, team skills and so forth and so on.

✓ Yes, I think people should try different things so that they know where their talents are, and only then can they improve their social and teamwork skills.

The original uses 'thank' instead of 'think' (word choice error) and has awkward word order 'so that they know in which they have the great talent'. Also 'then only they can' is nonstandard word order. This involves modal verb 'should' usage combined with incorrect word choice and sentence structure. Correct by using 'think', reposition clauses to 'so that they know where their talents are', and invert the clause for emphasis 'only then can they improve'. Remove redundancies ('different, uh, different', 'team team'). Suggestion: Use 'should' for recommendations and ensure clear clause order; avoid filler words and repetitions.