Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, then add one or two specific supporting details. Correct awkward phrasing (e.g., “did part participation” -> “took part”) and avoid listing too many activities without detail. Use linking words if you add reasons or examples.

예시: Yes — I took part in several activities as a child. For example, I learned to swim from age seven and later joined a powerlifting club, which helped me build discipline and confidence.

제안: Answer directly with a clear opinion, then support it with specific reasons and a linking word. Fix unnatural phrases (e.g., “Here's people” -> “Yes, I think people should”) and avoid repeating the same idea. Mention both non‑physical activities too if you claim broad benefits.

예시: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities because it broadens skills and improves well‑being. For instance, combining sports with creative hobbies like painting can boost fitness and reduce stress, while also developing new talents.

× When I was a child, I did part participation in many activities like swimming and powerlifting.

✓ When I was a child, I participated in many activities like swimming and powerlifting.

The phrase 'did part participation' is ungrammatical and redundant. Use the verb 'participated' (correct past tense) to express taking part in activities. This fixes sentence structure and uses the correct verb form for a past action. Suggestion: use 'participated in' for taking part, and keep plural nouns 'activities' when listing more than one activity.

× Here's people should engage in many activities which can help them physically as well as mentally.

✓ People should engage in many activities that can help them physically as well as mentally.

'Here's' is incorrect here; it is a contraction of 'here is' and does not fit the sentence. Remove it and begin with 'People'. Also use 'that' instead of 'which' for defining relative clauses in this context (both are often acceptable, but 'that' is clearer). The sentence is present-tense general statement, so simple present 'should engage' is correct. Suggestion: start sentences directly with the subject and use 'that' for essential clauses.

× People should take participation in physical activities so that the physique is maintained.

✓ People should participate in physical activities so that their physique is maintained.

'Take participation in' is an incorrect collocation; the correct verb is 'participate in'. Also 'the physique' is too general; use a possessive pronoun 'their physique' to refer back to people. Alternatively, use 'maintain their fitness' for more natural phrasing. Suggestion: use 'participate in' and match nouns with appropriate possessive pronouns.