Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve grammar, clarity and conciseness. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and pronouns, and avoid repetition. Use one or two specific examples of activities and a brief reason or result. Keep the answer within 3–4 sentences and use linking words (for example, "for example", "so", "which helped").

예시: Yes. My parents enrolled me in several extracurricular activities, such as music lessons and English listening classes, when I was a child. For example, weekly listening classes helped me improve my vocabulary and pronunciation, which made it easier to speak and understand English at school.

제안: Make your opinion direct and concise. Use a clear topic sentence stating your view, then add one or two specific reasons with linking words like "because" or "for example". Avoid repetition and awkward phrases (e.g., "too much" and "maximize their skills" used together). Aim for natural vocabulary and simpler sentence structures.

예시: Yes, I think people should try many different things because it helps them discover new interests and develop useful skills. For example, trying sports and volunteering taught me teamwork and time management, which have been helpful in both studies and work.

× My parents was enrolled me to extracurricular activities in music and listening classes to establish my good English language and gain a good grip on the English language.

✓ My parents enrolled me in extracurricular music and listening classes to improve my English and gain a better command of the language.

The original sentence has subject-verb agreement error ('parents was' should be 'parents enrolled') and incorrect verb patterns and prepositions ('enrolled me to' should be 'enrolled me in'). Also word choice and redundancy ('establish my good English' and repeating 'English language') are awkward. Suggestion: use 'enrolled' with plural subject, follow with 'in' for activities, use 'improve my English' or 'gain a better command of the language' to be natural. Grammar problem type ID:27

× This is the observational data I availed in my past.

✓ This is observational data I used from my past.

The verb 'availed' is not used correctly here. 'Avail' requires a reflexive or 'of' structure (avail oneself of) and is uncommon in this context. Also 'in my past' is unidiomatic; 'from my past' or 'from my experience' is better. Suggestion: use simple verbs like 'used' or phrases like 'based on my past experience.' Grammar problem type ID:8

× in my opinion mostly people try to do a lot of things in their life to gain to gain further knowledge about new things that can be helpful too much in their further life as well as they may always try to practice maximize their skills to enhance in their different activities.

✓ In my opinion, people should try many things in life to gain further knowledge about new areas that can be very helpful, and they should practice to maximize their skills for different activities.

Multiple issues: unnecessary repetition ('to gain to gain'), awkward quantifier and adverb placement ('too much' misplaced), incorrect verb forms ('practice maximize' should be 'practice to maximize' or 'practice and maximize'), and article/phrase errors ('their life' -> 'life'). I corrected to a clearer, grammatical sentence. Suggestion: avoid repetition, use parallel structure ('should try... and should practice'), and place adverbs near the words they modify. Grammar problem type ID:22

× Yeah, in my opinion mostly people try to do a lot of things in their life to gain to gain further knowledge about new things that can be helpful too much in their further life as well as they may always try to practice maximize their skills to enhance in their different activities.

✓ In my opinion, people should try many activities to gain new knowledge that can be useful in their future and should practice to improve their skills.

The original is long, repetitive, and lacks clear structure. There are run-on ideas and incorrect collocations ('helpful too much', 'practice maximize'). Suggestion: break into shorter clauses, remove repetition, use correct infinitive forms ('practice to improve') and logical connectors ('and', 'that'). Grammar problem type ID:26

× My parents was enrolled me to extracurricular activities in music and listening classes to establish my good English language and gain a good grip on the English language.

✓ My parents enrolled me in extracurricular music and listening classes to improve my English and gain a better command of it.

Pronoun reference and repetition: saying 'English language' twice is redundant. Replacing the second phrase with 'it' avoids repetition. Also 'establish my good English' is unidiomatic. Suggestion: use concise pronouns after introducing the noun and prefer idiomatic verbs like 'improve' or 'gain a command of.' Grammar problem type ID:12