Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Clarify tense and grammar, reduce redundancy, and improve coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms (practise/practiced depending on variety), and link supporting details with connectors. Be specific about which skills and give one brief example of a competition or achievement.

예시: Yes. When I was ten, my primary school sports teacher encouraged me to join the athletics team because she thought I had talent. I practised twice a week and competed in several inter-school events, which improved my confidence and taught me discipline and teamwork. For example, our relay team won second place in a district meet, which motivated me to keep training.

제안: Make a direct, concise statement answering the question, then give two clear reasons with linking words. Avoid repeated phrases and vague language. Use specific examples or outcomes to support your view and keep it to two or three sentences total.

예시: Yes, I think people should try many different activities because it broadens their skills and helps them discover new interests. For instance, trying painting and team sports taught me creativity and cooperation, which both improved my problem-solving and confidence.

× I practice twice a week and take part in several school competitions which help me build my confidence and task, discipline and teamwork skills

✓ I practiced twice a week and took part in several school competitions which helped me build my confidence and my task management, discipline and teamwork skills

The context is about when the student was ten (past), so verbs should be in the past tense. Change 'practice' and 'take part' to 'practiced' and 'took part', and 'help' to 'helped'. Also add 'my' before 'task management' for clarity and change 'task' to 'task management' to convey ability more naturally.

× Absolutely, people try as much as different things that they learned which can help them to build up their learning ability.

✓ Absolutely, people should try as many different things as they can, which can help them build their learning ability.

The sentence mixes incorrect quantifier and tense. Use 'should' to express recommendation and 'as many ... as they can' for countable items. 'That they learned' is unnecessary; use present ability 'as they can'. Remove 'to' before 'build' because 'help' is followed by the base verb or 'to' but simpler is base form 'build'.

× Also, when they learn the things they have, they learn the the things ability.

✓ Also, when they try new things, they develop their skills and abilities.

Original sentence is ungrammatical and repetitive ('the the things ability'). Recast the idea: 'try new things' (clear action) and 'develop their skills and abilities' (clear result). This fixes sentence structure and meaning.