Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 구체성 부족, 문법과 문장 구조 오류가 많습니다. 답변은 직접적으로 질문에 응답하는 주제문으로 시작하고, 필요하면 연결어를 사용해 구체적인 세부사항(언제, 누구와, 어떤 활동인지, 왜 즐겼는지 등)을 2~3문장으로 덧붙이세요. 예를 들어 시제 일관성(과거)을 지키고, 관사와 인칭 대명사 사용을 바로잡으며 문장을 간결하게 만드세요. 또한 'decorate my room/loom' 같은 단어 선택을 정확히 하세요.

예시: Yes. When I was a child I often played computer games with my sister. For example, we used to play a game where I could build and decorate my room, which helped me be creative and spend quality time with her.

제안: 의미 전달 의도는 있으나 어휘 선택과 문장 구조에 오류가 있어 이해가 어려웁니다. 주제문으로 직접 답하고, 이유와 예시를 한두 문장으로 덧붙여 논리적으로 연결하세요. 연결어(For example, because, therefore)를 사용해 이유를 분명히 하고, 'potentialities' 대신 natural 단어('potential')를 쓰고 오타를 피하세요.

예시: Yes, I think people should try many different things because it helps them discover new talents and interests. For example, by taking up sports or learning a musical instrument, someone might find a passion they would otherwise never discover.

× Yes, I when I was child I playing computer game with my sister and I played certain game in game I build I decorated my loom

✓ Yes, when I was a child I used to play computer games with my sister, and in one game I built and decorated a room.

The original sentence has multiple sentence structure problems: missing article before 'child', incorrect verb forms ('I playing' should be past habitual 'I used to play' and 'I build' should be past 'I built'), repetition and unclear noun 'loom' likely intended as 'room'. Combine clauses with commas and conjunctions for clarity. Suggestion: add the article 'a' before 'child', use 'used to play' for past habitual actions, pluralize 'computer games', change 'I build' to 'I built', and replace unclear word 'loom' with 'room' if that was intended.

× Yes, people have many potentialities and all Olato tries bring alato opportunity.

✓ Yes, people have many potentials, and every attempt brings a new opportunity.

The original sentence uses nonstandard nouns and forms: 'potentialities' is uncommon in this context; 'potentials' or 'potential' is better. 'All Olato tries bring alato opportunity' appears to be a phonetic or incorrect phrase. 'All' with a plural noun is awkward here; 'every attempt' or 'every try' is clearer, and 'brings a new opportunity' requires singular verb agreement and article 'a'. Suggestion: use 'people have a lot of potential' or 'many potentials', use 'every attempt' and 'brings a new opportunity' for grammatical correctness and natural expression.