Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: You should give a clear, direct topic sentence that answers the question, then add one or two specific supporting details. Use correct tense (past) and clear vocabulary. Avoid fragments and unclear phrases. For example, say where you went, who you went with, and how it influenced you. Use linking words like 'so' or 'because' to connect ideas.

예시: Yes. When I was a child my family and I visited Selma and traveled to many parts of our country. Because of those trips I became interested in traveling, and it gradually turned into one of my main hobbies.

제안: Begin with a clear opinion and stick to it; use reasons and a short example to support your view. Use linking words (because, however, for example) and correct grammar (present simple). Be concise—no more than five sentences. Clarify whether you personally advise variety or not and explain why.

예시: I don't think people must try every possible activity. Because some people prefer to focus on one or two hobbies deeply, they can develop real skills and enjoy them more. However, trying a few different things can help you discover what you like, so a balanced approach is best.

× Yes I do that would be in Selma yeah me and my family go to torrent around the our country and then I start facing with travelling.

✓ Yes, I did. When I was a child in Selma, my family and I traveled around our country, and I began developing an interest in traveling.

Original sentence mixes present and past tenses and has awkward phrasing. Use past tense 'did' and 'traveled' because the question asks about childhood. Replace 'me and my family' with 'my family and I' for correct subject order and grammar. Change 'start facing with travelling' to 'began developing an interest in traveling' for clear, natural expression.

× I really love face so that would begin a part of my hobby and.

✓ I really love traveling, so it became part of my hobbies.

The word 'face' is incorrect; context requires the noun 'traveling'. Use past tense 'became' to match childhood context. Use plural 'hobbies' or singular 'a hobby' consistently; 'part of my hobbies' or 'part of my hobby' are acceptable—here 'hobbies' fits better. Remove the trailing conjunction 'and' to complete the sentence.

× I don't think so because many people had numerous hobby and it's good for testing but I don't support it because I like travel.

✓ I don't think so, because many people have numerous hobbies and trying new things can be good, but I don't support doing everything myself because I like to travel.

Original mixes past 'had' with present context; use present 'have'. 'Hobby' should be plural 'hobbies'. Add 'to' in 'I like to travel' for correct verb usage. Clarify meaning by specifying 'doing everything myself' to contrast with trying many things.

× But I don't think other people also like travel or not.

✓ But I don't know whether other people also like to travel.

Sentence uses incorrect structure 'like travel or not'. Use 'whether' to introduce the alternative and 'like to travel' for correct verb form. Replace 'I don't think' with 'I don't know' to better express uncertainty.

× I'm not sure.

✓ I'm not sure.

This short sentence is grammatically correct; no change necessary. It appropriately expresses uncertainty.

× But As for me I think different many have different hobby.

✓ As for me, I think different people have different hobbies.

Word order and noun choice are incorrect. Use 'different people' instead of 'different many' and plural 'hobbies'. Add commas for clarity: 'As for me, ...'. This produces a natural, grammatical sentence.