Opportunities— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Bạn nên tập trung vào việc sửa ngữ pháp cơ bản, phát âm tên và từ rõ ràng hơn, và tổ chức câu mạch lạc theo cấu trúc: câu chủ đề + chi tiết hỗ trợ (tối đa 3-4 cụm). Hãy tránh lỗi thì (ví dụ: “When I was to” nên là “When I was young”) và loại bỏ từ thừa. Ngoài ra, nêu ví dụ cụ thể (khoảng thời gian, hoạt động, kết quả) để làm câu trả lời thuyết phục hơn. Cố gắng dùng liên từ đơn giản như “for example”, “because” để liên kết ý.

예시: When I was young I had many opportunities to try new activities because I lived with my grandparents who encouraged me. For example, they enrolled me in a baking club and a cooking club, which helped me learn new skills and make friends. These experiences made me more confident and curious to try other things.

제안: Bạn nên trả lời trực tiếp rồi phát triển ý bằng lý do cụ thể và ví dụ ngắn gọn, dùng liên từ để mạch lạc (“because”, “for example”, “so”). Sửa lỗi ngữ pháp như động từ chia (ví dụ: “have”→“has”), danh từ không đếm được (“curiosity” không cần “many”), và tránh lặp từ (“interesting” lặp). Giữ độ dài 2–4 câu, mỗi câu rõ ràng và có cấu trúc. Có thể nêu lợi ích cụ thể khi thử nhiều điều như mở rộng kỹ năng hoặc hiểu biết về bản thân.

예시: Yes, I think people should try many different things because it helps them discover new interests and develop useful skills. For example, learning a sport can improve fitness and teamwork, while trying cooking can teach practical skills and creativity. Therefore, experimenting with activities can help you grow and find what you enjoy.

× When I was to I had many opportunities to join new activities, I lived with my grandparent who supported and encouraged me to be adventurous.

✓ When I was two, I had many opportunities to join new activities because I lived with my grandparents who supported and encouraged me to be adventurous.

Original sentence has several issues: incorrect number word 'to' instead of 'two', run-on sentence with comma splice, and singular 'grandparent' when implying both (or use 'my grandparent' only if singular). Identify as a sentence structure error. Suggestion: correct the numeral word to 'two', break clauses with 'because' to show reason, and use 'grandparents' for plural or keep singular consistently. Also keep verb forms simple past to match 'When I was two'.

× They supported me to try to take but in things like Blaino and Ryano Cook Club which helped me make friends and

✓ They encouraged me to try activities like Blaino and Ryano Cook Club, which helped me make friends.

The phrase 'supported me to try to take part in' is ungrammatical and awkward; use 'encouraged me to try' or 'supported me in trying'. Also 'take but in' is a misspelling of 'take part in'. The clause was incomplete; finish the idea and use a relative clause with a comma before 'which'. Keep past tense 'encouraged' and 'helped' to match the narration.

× Yes, of course we need to try many things as we can because the world is very interesting and have many many interesting places for us to explore and I think I still have many curiosity to find new ways on the world to go

✓ Yes, of course we need to try as many things as we can because the world is very interesting and has many places for us to explore, and I think I am still curious to find new ways to travel the world.

Contains multiple tense and agreement problems: 'try many things as we can' should be 'try as many things as we can' (word order and quantifier), 'the world... have' should be 'the world... has' (subject-verb agreement), 'many curiosity' is incorrect noun/quantifier use — use 'still curious' or 'much curiosity', and 'find new ways on the world to go' is ungrammatical — use 'find new ways to travel the world'. Maintain present tense for general statements ('need', 'is', 'has') and use adjective 'curious' rather than 'many curiosity'.