Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Answer directly, then give one clear reason and a specific detail. Use “on weekdays” rather than “in weekdays” or “on the weekday,” and avoid repeating that you feel tired. “Exhausted” is already strong, so “very exhausted” is unnecessary.

예시: Yes, I often feel tired on weekdays because my workdays are quite long. I usually get up early and sometimes stay late to finish my tasks, so I feel worn out by the evening.

제안: Make the opening a complete sentence by saying when you feel tired. Avoid repeating the same reason about long work hours, and replace “think many” with “think about many things” or a more specific description of your workload. Use a linker such as “also” to introduce a distinct reason.

예시: I tend to feel tired toward the end of the workweek, especially when I have several deadlines. My hours can run late, and I have to concentrate on solving problems for much of the day.

제안: Give a clear main answer and explain how reading helps you relax. Avoid repeating “I read” and revise unclear phrases such as “imaginal world” and “think different things from apart from the work.” You could say “get absorbed in a story” and “take my mind off work.”

예시: When I feel tired, I usually read a novel for a while. Getting absorbed in the story helps me relax and take my mind off work.

제안: Your direct “No” is clear, but explain your reason using natural phrasing. Replace “think many things or the mental state of his or her” with a specific point, such as finding conversation tiring when you are mentally drained. Say “go home” rather than “back home,” and link the result smoothly.

예시: No, I usually stay in when I’m tired. Socializing takes energy, especially when I’ve had a demanding day, so I prefer to go home early and relax.

× In particular, I feel very exhausted in weekdays because of my work.

✓ In particular, I feel very exhausted on weekdays because of my work.

Use on before weekdays when referring to days of the week. Use on weekdays, not in weekdays.

× On the weekday, I have to get up early and work a little bit longer than regular times.

✓ On weekdays, I have to get up early and work a little bit longer than usual.

Use on weekdays to refer generally to working days. The phrase longer than usual is the natural comparison here; regular times does not fit this comparison.

× Also, I have to think many so it makes me a little bit tired.

✓ Also, I have to think a lot, which makes me a little bit tired.

Many must modify a countable noun, such as many things. To describe the amount of thinking without naming a noun, use a lot.

× I read some books I love reading and sometimes novels take me away from the real world.

✓ I read some books. I love reading, and novels sometimes take me away from the real world.

The original combines several complete thoughts without clear punctuation or structure. Separate the ideas with a period, and use and to connect the related thoughts.

× I really enjoy the imaginal world or and think different things from apart from the work.

✓ I really enjoy imaginary worlds and thinking about things other than work.

Or and and cannot be used together in this way. Use and to connect the ideas. The corrected wording also removes the duplicated expression from apart from.

× Sometimes communicating with others makes me a little tired because I have to think many things or the mental state of his or her.

✓ Sometimes communicating with others makes me a little tired because I have to think about many things, including their mental states.

The verb think generally takes about before the topic being considered. Use think about many things, not think many things.

× Sometimes communicating with others makes me a little tired because I have to think many things or the mental state of his or her.

✓ Sometimes communicating with others makes me a little tired because I have to think about many things, including their mental states.

His or her does not clearly refer to the plural noun others. Use their as a gender-neutral pronoun referring to people in general.

× So when I feel tired, I back home earlier than usual.

✓ So when I feel tired, I go back home earlier than usual.

Back is not normally used as the main verb to mean returning home. Use go back or get back to form the verb phrase.