Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Answer the question directly, but use more natural and accurate expressions. Say “I’m a teacher by profession,” not “a teacher by a profession,” and replace unclear phrases such as “work as a program” and “soft responsibilities” with specific descriptions, such as “work part-time as a programme coordinator” and “household responsibilities.” Keep the answer to three or four clear sentences and connect your reasons with “as well as” or “on top of that.”

예시: Yes, I often feel quite tired because I have two jobs. I’m a teacher by profession, and I also work part-time as a programme coordinator. On top of that, I’m a mother of two children, so I have many household responsibilities as well.

제안: Give a complete and understandable answer with a clear time or situation. The current response contains several incomplete and unclear phrases, including “go and my extra tour” and “if someone’s family.” Organise the answer with a topic sentence followed by one or two specific examples, and use linking words such as “especially,” “because,” and “for example.”

예시: To be honest, I feel tired almost every day, especially when I have to work overtime. I usually feel exhausted when I need to prepare a presentation after a full day of teaching. I also feel tired when I have to attend family events in the evening because I don’t get enough time to rest.

제안: The main ideas are relevant, but avoid repeating “I prefer” and correct the sentence structure. Use natural phrases such as “get some rest,” “have a cup of tea,” and “spend time doing things I enjoy.” Add a clear result or reason to make the response more effective, and use “also” or “then” to link your activities.

예시: When I feel tired, I usually get some rest and have a cup of tea or coffee. I also spend some quiet time reading, because it helps me relax and clear my mind. If I’m extremely tired, I go to bed early instead.

제안: Your answer gives a clear opinion and reason, but it ends incomplete and contains several unnatural expressions. Say “spending time with friends feels like therapy” instead of “proves like a therapy,” and replace “sharing after smoking” with a precise idea, such as “sharing my thoughts” or “having a conversation.” Avoid repeating “and,” and finish with a specific activity or result.

예시: Yes, I sometimes go out with my friends even when I feel tired. Spending time with them feels like therapy because I can share my thoughts and have a laugh. As a result, I usually feel more relaxed afterwards, although I stay home if I’m completely exhausted.

× I am a teacher by a profession.

✓ I am a teacher by profession.

The fixed expression is by profession, without the article a. Use by profession when stating someone's occupation.

× I have a lot of soft responsibilities.

✓ I have a lot of household responsibilities.

Soft does not describe responsibilities in this context. Household is the appropriate adjective for responsibilities related to caring for a home and family.

× And to be honest, I feel tired every day and especially when I have to go and my extra tour to like prepare a presentation and then I will say there is an event at my home or if someone's family.

✓ To be honest, I feel tired every day, especially when I have to go on an extra trip to prepare a presentation or when there is an event at my home or at a family member's home.

The original sentence contains several incomplete and incorrectly connected phrases. Use a clear structure with especially when and when to introduce the situations that make you tired.

× I have to go and my extra tour to prepare a presentation.

✓ I have to go on an extra trip to prepare a presentation.

The correct preposition used with trip is go on a trip. The phrase go and my extra tour is not grammatically correct.

× Then I will say there is an event at my home.

✓ Then there is an event at my home.

The phrase I will say is unnecessary and does not fit the meaning. Use there is to state that an event exists or takes place.

× At someone's family.

✓ At a family member's home.

Someone's family is unclear in this context. A family member's home clearly identifies the person and correctly uses the possessive pronoun form.

× Well, I prefer to take some rest and do sometime I prefer to take a cup of tea or coffee and do spend time on the things that I love to do like reading.

✓ Well, I prefer to get some rest. Sometimes, I have a cup of tea or coffee and spend time doing things I love, such as reading.

The original sentence repeats I prefer and incorrectly uses do sometime and do spend. Separate the ideas into two sentences and use sometimes as an adverb meaning occasionally.

× Spend time on the things that I love to do like reading.

✓ Spend time doing things I love, such as reading.

After spend time, use a gerund with the pattern spend time doing something. Therefore, doing is needed instead of the less natural structure on the things that I love to do.

× Hanging out with friends proves like a therapy to me.

✓ Hanging out with friends is like therapy to me.

Therapy is normally used as an uncountable noun when referring to the helpful effect of an activity, so a is not needed. The verb proves like is also replaced with the correct expression is like.

× I love sharing after smoking with a friends.

✓ I love sharing laughter with friends.

Friends is plural, so it cannot be used with the singular article a. Use friends without an article when speaking about friends in general.

× And we might.

✓ And we might continue talking and relaxing together.

The original phrase is incomplete because the modal verb might must be followed by a base-form verb. Add a complete verb phrase to finish the sentence.