Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答直接回应了问题，也给出了学习压力这一原因，但句子过长，存在明显的语法和搭配错误，例如“write paper in the computer use the app”和“my major is design”。“So I always worry”表达不完整，而且没有清楚说明担心什么。建议使用更自然的表达，如“write papers on my computer”和“use software such as...”。可以把答案控制在2—3句，并补充一个具体结果，例如熬夜或眼睛疲劳。

예시: Yes, I often feel tired because I’m a university student majoring in design. I spend long hours drawing and writing papers on my computer, using software such as Illustrator and Photoshop. As a result, I sometimes get tired eyes and have trouble sleeping.

제안: 答案提到了周一到周五以及上课、写论文和阅读等原因，但开头“When would...”应回答具体时间或情境，而不是使用不自然的“the work day”。“from the Monday to the Friday”“do some paper”“let me put me into bad mood”都需要修改。建议使用“during the week”“after a full day of classes”和“put me in a bad mood”等自然搭配，并用连接词组织多个活动。

예시: I usually feel tired after a full day of classes, especially from Monday to Friday. I often have several lectures, and then I need to read books and write papers in the evening. By the end of the day, I feel mentally exhausted and sometimes get into a bad mood.

제안: 答案包含了散步、跑步、洗澡、看电视和读书等具体活动，但语法错误较多，影响了表达清晰度，例如“choice”应为“choose”，“go out of my walk room”表达不自然，“to running”应改为“run”。活动过多且缺少清晰的逻辑关系，建议选择两到三个主要方法，并使用“First, then, finally”等连接词。

예시: When I feel tired, I usually take a short walk around my university to get some fresh air. After that, I take a shower and watch a little television. These activities help me relax before I go to bed.

제안: 答案明确回答了“Yes”，并说明和朋友外出可以改善心情，这是一个不错的观点。但“touch the different delicious dish”“do many great play”和“to be a good gig”不符合英语习惯，可能想表达“try different delicious dishes”“do fun activities”和“go to a gig”。建议使用复数“friends”，并举出一两个清楚、具体的活动，而不是堆叠多个错误短语。

예시: Yes, I still go out with my friends because it’s a good way to cheer myself up. We might try different dishes at a restaurant or go to a concert together. Spending time with them helps me forget about my workload and feel more relaxed.

× I always draw pictures and write paper in the computer use the app such as Illustrator and WPS or something like Photoshop.

✓ I always draw pictures and write papers on the computer using apps such as Illustrator, WPS, and Photoshop.

“paper”在这里表示多篇课程论文，应使用复数形式“papers”。“app”后面列举了多个软件，也应使用复数形式“apps”。建议注意可数名词在表示多个事物时要加-s或-es。

× I always draw pictures and write paper in the computer use the app such as Illustrator and WPS or something like Photoshop.

✓ I always draw pictures and write papers on the computer using apps such as Illustrator, WPS, and Photoshop.

表示使用电脑时通常说“on the computer”，而不是“in the computer”。建议记忆固定搭配“on the computer”。

× I always draw pictures and write paper in the computer use the app such as Illustrator and WPS or something like Photoshop.

✓ I always draw pictures and write papers on the computer using apps such as Illustrator, WPS, and Photoshop.

“using apps”表示“使用应用程序”的伴随动作，需要使用现在分词“using”，不能直接使用动词原形“use”连接在句中。

× I always draw pictures and write paper in the computer use the app such as Illustrator and WPS or something like Photoshop.

✓ I always draw pictures and write papers on the computer using apps such as Illustrator, WPS, and Photoshop.

原句中“write paper in the computer use the app”缺少清晰的谓语连接，多个动作直接堆在一起。可以使用“using...”作为伴随结构，使句子结构完整、清楚。

× Well, I think the work day I always feel tired such as from the Monday to the Friday.

✓ Well, I always feel tired on workdays, from Monday to Friday.

原句中的“I think the work day”不能正确引出时间信息，句子结构不完整。可以直接使用“on workdays, from Monday to Friday”表达“在工作日，从周一到周五”。

× Well, I think the work day I always feel tired such as from the Monday to the Friday.

✓ Well, I always feel tired on workdays, from Monday to Friday.

表示“在工作日”应使用介词“on”，即“on workdays”。表示从周一到周五时使用“from Monday to Friday”，日期前通常不加“the”。

× In that time I always take many lessons in my university school and do some paper and read book and always let me put me into bad mood.

✓ At that time, I always take many lessons at university, write some papers, read books, and put myself in a bad mood.

“paper”和“book”在这里都是可数名词，表示多篇论文和多本书时应使用复数形式“papers”和“books”。建议检查名词前的数量词，并根据数量改变名词形式。

× In that time I always take many lessons in my university school and do some paper and read book and always let me put me into bad mood.

✓ At that time, I always take many lessons at university, write some papers, read books, and put myself in a bad mood.

表示“在那段时间”应使用“At that time”，而不是“In that time”。表示在大学上课通常使用“at university”。固定搭配是“put someone in a bad mood”。

× In that time I always take many lessons in my university school and do some paper and read book and always let me put me into bad mood.

✓ At that time, I always take many lessons at university, write some papers, read books, and put myself in a bad mood.

主语“I”使自己处于某种状态时，应使用反身代词“myself”，所以应说“put myself in a bad mood”，不能说“put me”或“let me put me”。

× In that time I always take many lessons in my university school and do some paper and read book and always let me put me into bad mood.

✓ At that time, I always take many lessons at university, write some papers, read books, and put myself in a bad mood.

“myself”用于指代主语“I”本人。这里表达“使自己心情不好”，因此应使用“put myself”，而不是重复使用普通宾格代词“me”。

× In that time I always take many lessons in my university school and do some paper and read book and always let me put me into bad mood.

✓ At that time, I always take many lessons at university, write some papers, read books, and put myself in a bad mood.

“mood”是可数名词，单数形式前需要冠词，因此应说“a bad mood”。此外，“at university”作为一般概念通常不需要冠词。

× We when I feel tired I often choice to stand up out of my chair and go out of my walk room to running around school and then I always want to take shower and then I always choice to watch TV and reading books.

✓ When I feel tired, I often choose to get out of my chair, walk out of my room, and run around campus. Then I usually take a shower, watch TV, and read books.

原句包含多处重复的“and then”，并且多个动作的连接方式不一致，导致句子结构混乱。建议把长句拆成两个句子，并让并列动词保持相同形式。

× We when I feel tired I often choice to stand up out of my chair and go out of my walk room to running around school and then I always want to take shower and then I always choice to watch TV and reading books.

✓ When I feel tired, I often choose to get out of my chair, walk out of my room, and run around campus. Then I usually take a shower, watch TV, and read books.

“to”后面应接动词原形，所以应说“to run”，不能说“to running”。另外，“watch TV and read books”是并列结构，两个动词都应使用原形。

× We when I feel tired I often choice to stand up out of my chair and go out of my walk room to running around school and then I always want to take shower and then I always choice to watch TV and reading books.

✓ When I feel tired, I often choose to get out of my chair, walk out of my room, and run around campus. Then I usually take a shower, watch TV, and read books.

“walk room”不是正确搭配，应说“walk out of my room”，表示“走出我的房间”。建议区分“walk out of + 地点”和“go out of + 地点”的用法。

× We when I feel tired I often choice to stand up out of my chair and go out of my walk room to running around school and then I always want to take shower and then I always choice to watch TV and reading books.

✓ When I feel tired, I often choose to get out of my chair, walk out of my room, and run around campus. Then I usually take a shower, watch TV, and read books.

“shower”在“洗一个澡”的含义下是可数名词单数，需要使用不定冠词，因此应说“take a shower”。

× We when I feel tired I often choice to stand up out of my chair and go out of my walk room to running around school and then I always want to take shower and then I always choice to watch TV and reading books.

✓ When I feel tired, I often choose to get out of my chair, walk out of my room, and run around campus. Then I usually take a shower, watch TV, and read books.

“choice”是名词，不能直接作为谓语动词使用。这里应使用动词“choose”。同时，原句中“to stand”“to running”“to watch”“reading”的形式不统一，改为并列的动词结构后更加正确。

× Well yes because I think going out with my friend is a good way to cheer me up and I can touch the different delicious dish and to do many great play with my best friend such as to be a good gig and to watch the performers.

✓ Well, yes, because I think going out with my friends is a good way to cheer me up. I can try different delicious dishes and do many fun activities with my best friends, such as going to a good gig and watching performers.

“dish”表示多个不同的菜时应使用复数“dishes”；“play”不能表示多个活动，改为“activities”更合适。若和多个朋友出去，应使用“friends”。

× Well yes because I think going out with my friend is a good way to cheer me up and I can touch the different delicious dish and to do many great play with my best friend such as to be a good gig and to watch the performers.

✓ Well, yes, because I think going out with my friends is a good way to cheer me up. I can try different delicious dishes and do many fun activities with my best friends, such as going to a good gig and watching performers.

情态动词“can”后面应接动词原形，所以应使用“can try ... and do”，不能使用“can ... and to do”。

× Well yes because I think going out with my friend is a good way to cheer me up and I can touch the different delicious dish and to do many great play with my best friend such as to be a good gig and to watch the performers.

✓ Well, yes, because I think going out with my friends is a good way to cheer me up. I can try different delicious dishes and do many fun activities with my best friends, such as going to a good gig and watching performers.

“such as”后面列举活动时，可以使用动名词形式，因此应说“going to a good gig and watching performers”。并列的两个活动应保持相同的形式。

× Well yes because I think going out with my friend is a good way to cheer me up and I can touch the different delicious dish and to do many great play with my best friend such as to be a good gig and to watch the performers.

✓ Well, yes, because I think going out with my friends is a good way to cheer me up. I can try different delicious dishes and do many fun activities with my best friends, such as going to a good gig and watching performers.

“different delicious dishes”表示一般的、多个不同的菜，不需要定冠词“the”。原句中的“the different delicious dish”同时存在冠词和单复数问题。

× Well yes because I think going out with my friend is a good way to cheer me up and I can touch the different delicious dish and to do many great play with my best friend such as to be a good gig and to watch the performers.

✓ Well, yes, because I think going out with my friends is a good way to cheer me up. I can try different delicious dishes and do many fun activities with my best friends, such as going to a good gig and watching performers.

原句连接了太多成分，而且“touch ... dish”“to do ... play”“to be a good gig”结构不正确。建议拆分长句，并使用平行结构“try ..., do ..., going ..., and watching ...”。