Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Answer directly and then give one clear reason and result. Improve naturalness by saying “I spend most of my time studying” instead of “most of the time I spend on studying.” Also, do not separate “very” from “exhausting”; say “It’s very exhausting.” Replace the informal phrase “11th grade is not a joke” with a more natural expression such as “11th grade is quite demanding.”

예시: Yes, I often feel tired because 11th grade is quite demanding. We have a lot of homework, and our exams are coming up soon, so I spend most of my time studying. As a result, I feel exhausted by the end of the day.

제안: The first sentence answers the question clearly, but the final sentence is difficult to understand. Explain specifically why you feel tired and use a logical connector such as “because” or “especially.” Replace “the pressure that schools put us in” with “the pressure schools put on us,” and avoid the unclear phrase “so I can just take it.”

예시: I usually feel tired when I get home after school, especially after a busy day of classes. Schools put a lot of pressure on students because we have to study, complete assignments, and interact with many people. By the time I arrive home, I have very little energy left.

제안: Give your routine in the present simple rather than beginning with the hesitant “I would like to.” Use “lie on my bed” instead of “lay on my bed,” and say “listen to music,” not “listen music.” Improve the structure by listing your activities clearly and linking them with “then” or “while.”

예시: When I feel tired, I usually lie on my bed and listen to music for a while. Then I have something to eat and watch an episode of my favorite show. This helps me relax and recover after a long day at school.

제안: This is a direct and natural answer with a clear reason. To make it more effective, add one specific detail about what you do instead or mention an exception. This would provide slightly richer content while remaining concise.

예시: I usually don’t go out because I prefer to rest for the rest of the day. I normally stay at home, have dinner, and watch something relaxing. However, if it is a special occasion, I might still meet my friends for a short time.

× We have our exams coming soon so most of the time I spend on studying and it's very. Exhausting.

✓ We have our exams coming soon, so I spend most of my time studying, and it is very exhausting.

The verb spend is followed by an object and a gerund: spend time studying. The natural structure is spend most of my time studying, not spend most of the time on studying. Also, exhausting should not be separated from its subject and verb by a full stop.

× The pressure that schools put us in, uh, it's unbelievable.

✓ The pressure that schools put on us is unbelievable.

The correct preposition after put when referring to pressure is on: put pressure on someone. The original sentence also repeats the subject with both the relative clause and it. Removing it makes the sentence grammatically complete and clearer.

× I would like to, I would like to just to lay on my bed and listen music all day.

✓ I would just like to lie on my bed and listen to music all day.

The verb listen requires the preposition to before the thing being heard: listen to music. In addition, lie is the correct verb for resting in a horizontal position. After would like, use one infinitive marker to followed by the base verb: would like to lie, not would like to just to lay.

× I would like to, I would like to just to lay on my bed and listen music all day.

✓ I would just like to lie on my bed and listen to music all day.

The original sentence contains a repeated phrase and two infinitive markers, which makes its structure incorrect. Use one clear subject-and-verb pattern: I would just like to lie. Avoid repeating I would like to when the repetition is not intentional.