Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Answer the question directly and avoid contradictory ideas. You say that you often feel tired, but then mention that you sleep well and that this makes you healthy. Use a clear topic sentence, followed by one specific reason. Also, replace unnatural phrases such as “there's so much in daily life” and “a healthy conditions” with more natural expressions.

예시: Yes, I often feel tired because I work from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. every day. Although I usually get enough sleep at night, I still feel exhausted after a busy day at work.

제안: Use a complete sentence and clearly state when you feel tired. The answer contains several grammatical problems, including “It especially in the midnight,” “at to Graduate School,” and “makes certain sleep.” Explain the situation logically with linking words such as “because” or “as a result,” and use “at midnight” rather than “in the midnight.”

예시: I usually feel tired at midnight because I often have assignments for graduate school. In addition, I sometimes have group projects to complete, so I do not get enough sleep.

제안: Avoid repeating “basically” and express your actions in a clear sequence. “Take a good sleep” should be “get some sleep,” and “go around for fresh” is unnatural; say “go for a walk to get some fresh air.” Give one or two specific ways you relax when you are tired.

예시: When I feel tired, I usually take a short nap or go for a walk to get some fresh air. If I have enough time, I also listen to music because it helps me relax and refresh my mind.

제안: Your opening, “It depends on the situation,” is appropriate, but the explanation needs clearer grammar and logic. Say “I have commitments to my friends” instead of “the commitment with friends are tight,” and use “if I am very tired” rather than “if I have a so tired.” Clearly contrast the two situations: going out when you have made plans and staying home when you are exhausted.

예시: It depends on how tired I am. If I have already made plans with my friends, I usually go out because I do not want to disappoint them. However, if I am extremely exhausted, I prefer to stay home and get some rest.

× Definitely, now there's so much in daily life because I work from 9:00 AM to 6:00 PM and have a great sleep at night and that makes me a healthy conditions.

✓ Definitely, there is a lot going on in my daily life because I work from 9:00 AM to 6:00 PM. I get a good night's sleep, and that keeps me healthy.

Use there is with a singular or uncountable noun phrase such as a lot going on. The phrase there is so much in daily life is grammatically awkward because so much needs a clearer noun or expression after it.

× Definitely, now there's so much in daily life because I work from 9:00 AM to 6:00 PM and have a great sleep at night and that makes me a healthy conditions.

✓ Definitely, there is a lot going on in my daily life because I work from 9:00 AM to 6:00 PM. I get a good night's sleep, and that keeps me healthy.

Condition is countable and singular after the article a, so a healthy condition would be required. However, in this context, the natural expression is keeps me healthy, which uses the adjective healthy to describe the student's state.

× It especially in the midnight because I have some assignments at to Graduate School at the time I have another group work for it makes certain sleep.

✓ I feel especially tired at midnight because I have assignments for graduate school. At that time, I also have another group project, which makes it difficult to sleep.

The original sentence begins with It especially, but it has no main verb. Adding feel makes the sentence complete: I feel especially tired. A complete English sentence normally needs a subject and a verb.

× It especially in the midnight because I have some assignments at to Graduate School at the time I have another group work for it makes certain sleep.

✓ I feel especially tired at midnight because I have assignments for graduate school. At that time, I also have another group project, which makes it difficult to sleep.

Use at midnight, not in the midnight. Use for graduate school to show the purpose or connection of the assignments. Do not use at to together before graduate school.

× It especially in the midnight because I have some assignments at to Graduate School at the time I have another group work for it makes certain sleep.

✓ I feel especially tired at midnight because I have assignments for graduate school. At that time, I also have another group project, which makes it difficult to sleep.

The original response joins several incomplete and unrelated clauses without clear connectors. Dividing the ideas into two sentences and using which makes it difficult to sleep creates a clearer grammatical structure.

× It especially in the midnight because I have some assignments at to Graduate School at the time I have another group work for it makes certain sleep.

✓ I feel especially tired at midnight because I have assignments for graduate school. At that time, I also have another group project, which makes it difficult to sleep.

Certain does not correctly describe sleep in this context. The intended meaning is that the schoolwork makes sleeping difficult, so difficult is the appropriate adjective after makes it.

× Basically, basically I take a good sleep at night and sometimes if I have time uh, to go around for fresh, refresh my brain and feel it.

✓ Basically, I get a good night's sleep, and sometimes, if I have time, I go outside to get some fresh air, refresh my brain, and feel better.

Use the adjective fresh before the noun air in the expression fresh air. Also, feel is followed by an adjective when describing a condition, so feel better is correct; feel it does not express the intended meaning.

× Basically, basically I take a good sleep at night and sometimes if I have time uh, to go around for fresh, refresh my brain and feel it.

✓ Basically, I get a good night's sleep, and sometimes, if I have time, I go outside to get some fresh air, refresh my brain, and feel better.

The phrase go around for fresh is incomplete and does not form a clear grammatical expression. The structure go outside to get some fresh air gives the sentence a clear verb, purpose, and object.

× The commitment with friends are tight.

✓ My commitments to my friends are important.

Commitments is plural, so the plural verb are agrees with it. If commitment were singular, the verb would need to be is. The corrected sentence also uses the plural form because the student is referring to several obligations.

× The commitment with friends are tight.

✓ My commitments to my friends are important.

Use commitments to my friends rather than commitment with friends when referring to obligations or responsibilities toward friends. The preposition to shows the relationship or responsibility directed toward someone.

× I need to go out with friends, but umm, if I have a so tired, so much tired, I'm not going to for.

✓ I need to go out with my friends, but if I am very tired, I am not going to go out.

Tired is an adjective, so use it after the verb be: I am very tired. Do not use a before an adjective by itself, and use very rather than so much to modify the adjective tired.

× I need to go out with friends, but umm, if I have a so tired, so much tired, I'm not going to for.

✓ I need to go out with my friends, but if I am very tired, I am not going to go out.

The phrase I am not going to for is incomplete because going to must be followed by a base-form verb. Adding go out completes the verb phrase and clearly expresses the intended action.