Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and clear: begin with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid repetition and correct basic grammar (e.g., tense, articles). Mention specific causes (travel method, weather, workload) and keep it within 2–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I often feel tired when I get home from college. This is usually because I have had many lectures and often travel home in hot weather, which drains my energy. As a result, I usually need some rest before doing anything else.

제안: Start with a clear time frame and then explain specific reasons using linking words. Fix grammar (use present simple for routines) and avoid repeating phrases. Give a short, logical answer with examples of what makes the time tiring.

예시: I usually feel tired in the late afternoon after my college day finishes. Because I have several long lectures and sometimes long walks or crowded buses home, I feel exhausted and need to rest when I arrive.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence about your typical action, then add one or two specific details and sequencing words. Use correct verb forms (e.g., 'I rest' or 'I take a short nap') and avoid one-word answers. Mention time length or other relaxing activities if possible.

예시: When I feel tired, I usually rest and take a short nap for about 30 minutes. After that, I sometimes drink tea and stretch for a few minutes to feel more awake.

제안: Answer directly, then give a clear reason using linking words. Use correct tense and clear words to describe symptoms (e.g., 'headache' or 'low mood') and avoid vague expressions like 'ridiculous'. You can also offer an alternative (e.g., meet another time).

예시: No, I usually don't go out with my friends when I'm tired because I often have a headache and feel low in mood. Instead, I prefer to rest at home and suggest meeting them another day when I feel better.

× Yes, I often feel tired when I come home with my when I come home after my college that was so tired because I wasn't by foot so also weather was very high temperature so yes I often feel tired.

✓ Yes, I often feel tired when I come home after college because I usually do not walk and the weather is very hot, so I often feel tired.

Multiple tense and sentence structure issues: inconsistent verbs and redundant phrases. 'When I come home after college' uses present simple for habitual action. 'I wasn't by foot' is incorrect; use 'I usually do not walk' or 'I don't walk' to indicate not walking. 'Weather was very high temperature' should be 'the weather is very hot'. Combine clauses and remove repetition to make a clear present-tense habitual statement.

× When after college when my college was off and when I came home that was very tired time because I want some rest when I come home and were so much lectures and come home with by food it was tired.

✓ After college ends, I feel very tired because I want to rest; there are so many lectures and I come home by bus, which makes me tired.

This sentence has poor structure, incorrect verb forms and unclear phrases. Use 'After college ends' or 'After college' for time, 'I feel' for present. 'I want some rest' should be 'I want to rest'. 'Were so much lectures' should be 'there are so many lectures'. 'Come home with by food' is unintelligible; likely 'come home by foot' or 'by bus' — adjust to a sensible transport phrase. Break into clearer clauses and maintain present tense for habitual actions.

× When I feel tired, I only do some rest, I take some rest and going to sleep that's it.

✓ When I feel tired, I just rest; I take a nap or go to sleep, that's it.

'Do some rest' is incorrect collocation; use 'rest' or 'take a rest'/'take a nap'. 'Going to sleep' must be parallel with previous verbs: use 'I go to sleep' or 'I go to bed'. Maintain concise coordinated verbs and correct verb forms.

× No, when I feel tired I don't want to go with my friends because when I was tired that moment was very ridiculous because my head was very my head my head has had and I don't want to go outside because my mood was not for that time.

✓ No, when I feel tired I don't want to go out with my friends because at that time my head hurts and I am not in the mood to go outside.

Mixes past and present and has unclear phrases. 'Don't want to go with my friends' is acceptable but 'go out with my friends' is more natural. 'When I was tired that moment was very ridiculous' is meaningless; replace with 'at that time my head hurts' or 'I don't feel well'. 'My head my head has had' is incorrect — use 'my head hurts'. Keep tense consistent (present habitual) and use correct idiomatic expressions like 'in the mood'.