Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler phrases like "you know" and repeating "so" and "yeah." Also correct small grammar issues ("running on in my last year in my college" → "in my final year of college").

예시: Yes, I often feel tired. This is because I'm in my final year of college and I also work an internship in a financial advisory team, so I have a heavy workload. As a result, I usually feel exhausted by the end of the day.

제안: Give a direct answer then explain briefly with a clear time reference. Remove repetition and colloquial fillers. Use a linking word to connect cause and effect (e.g., "because" or "so").

예시: I usually feel tired after dinner because eating and relaxing makes me sleepy, so I tend to want to rest and do nothing in the evening.

제안: Organize your answer with a topic sentence and two specific activities using linking words. Correct verb forms and avoid repetition. Provide short reasons or examples to enrich the response.

예시: When I'm tired, I usually slow down and rest. For example, I often meditate for ten minutes to calm my mind, or I read a recent novel because reading helps me relax; occasionally I watch TV with my parents to unwind.

제안: Answer directly with a clear reason and one supporting detail. Avoid repetition and fillers. Use a linking word to explain why you don't go out (e.g., "because").

예시: No, I usually don't go out when I'm tired because it would drain my energy. Instead, I stay at home to relax—for example, I might meditate or rest so I can recover for the next day.

× Yes, I do feel tired, you know, quite often because I'm running on in my last year in my college, so I do have a lot of class now that I need to attend to.

✓ Yes, I do feel tired quite often because I'm in my final year at college, so I have a lot of classes now that I need to attend.

The original uses awkward present continuous 'running on in my last year' and singular 'class'. Use simple present/continuous correctly: 'I'm in my final year' is the usual expression for current stage; 'have a lot of classes' uses plural to match count. Also remove filler words for clarity.

× And on top of that I do have an internship position in a financial advisory team.

✓ And on top of that I have an internship position on a financial advisory team.

Use plural/singular consistently: 'an internship position' is acceptable but 'in a financial advisory team' is better phrased 'on a financial advisory team' or 'with a financial advisory team'. The correction changes auxiliary 'do have' to simple 'have' for natural present-tense usage.

× So yeah, it's quite a bit of hard work.

✓ So yeah, it's quite a bit of hard work.

Sentence is acceptable but keep it as present tense; no grammatical change needed. Included to indicate correct present usage.

× I would say the moment I feel tired often occurred, you know, after my dinner time because after dinner you'll feel definitely, you know, sleepy and you just wanna do nothing.

✓ I would say the times I often feel tired occur after dinner because after eating you definitely feel sleepy and just want to do nothing.

Original mixed conditional/past forms incorrectly: 'occurred' (past) conflicts with general statement 'I would say' and 'often'. Use simple present 'occur' for habitual events. Replace colloquial 'you'll' and 'wanna' with 'you feel' and 'want' for standard grammar.

× You know, that is the time when I feel tired and exhausted, yeah.

✓ That is the time when I feel tired and exhausted.

Remove filler 'you know' and trailing 'yeah' for clarity; verb form 'feel' is correct here. No -ing form needed.

× Actually, sometimes I just slow down my pace, laid back, do nothing or do some meditation or maybe you know, recent novels because I'm a huge fan of reading books.

✓ Actually, sometimes I just slow down my pace, lie back, do nothing, meditate, or read novels because I'm a huge fan of reading.

Incorrect verbs: 'laid back' is past tense/adjective; use 'lie back' for present habitual action. 'Do some meditation' is natural as 'meditate'. 'Recent novels' doesn't fit; use 'read novels'. Also simplify 'reading books' to 'reading'.

× So, you know, meditation really novels or maybe watch some television shows with with my parents.

✓ So, you know, meditate, read novels, or maybe watch television shows with my parents.

Original has missing conjunctions and wrong word order; 'meditation really novels' is ungrammatical. Use parallel verb forms 'meditate, read, or watch' and correct 'with with' to 'with'.

× No, actually, so actually I just stay home and just do, you know, like I said, meditation when I feel tired or just lay back, you know, do nothing.

✓ No, actually, I usually just stay home and, as I said, meditate when I'm tired or just lie back and do nothing.

Use 'usually' for habitual action; 'lay back' is incorrect (needs 'lie back'); maintain consistent present tense 'I'm tired'. Use parallel structures 'lie back and do nothing'.

× So going out with my friends, I think it's a little bit, you know, it's kind of like waste of my energy.

✓ So going out with my friends, I think, is a bit of a waste of my energy.

Grammatical issues: missing article 'a' before 'waste', awkward repetition. Use 'is a bit of a waste of my energy' and remove fillers for clarity.

× So I don't usually hang out with my friends when I feel really tired and exhausted.

✓ So I don't usually hang out with my friends when I feel really tired and exhausted.

Sentence is grammatically correct in present tense and needs no change; included to indicate correctness.