Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy and awkward phrasing (e.g. “in enthusiasm”). Also keep answers under five sentences.

예시: No, I don’t often feel tired. I take short breaks throughout the day and follow a balanced diet and regular exercise, which help me stay energetic. For example, I do a 10-minute walk every afternoon and eat light, protein-rich meals to maintain my energy.

제안: Begin with a clear topic sentence acknowledging occasional tiredness, then give specific situations and link them logically. Correct unclear phrases like “So I feel time” and finish the sentence. Keep it natural and limited to a few sentences.

예시: I rarely get tired, but I do feel exhausted after very heavy work or long delays in traffic during my commute. For instance, long hours at the office followed by a two-hour drive home can leave me drained, even though my healthy eating habits usually keep me energetic.

제안: Start with a concise topic sentence, then list one or two specific restful activities using linking words (first, then, finally). Avoid vague or repetitive phrases like “beautiful meal, healthy meal.” Keep it natural and within five sentences.

예시: When I feel tired, I usually take a hot shower first and then meditate for 10–15 minutes to calm my mind. After that I have a healthy meal, such as a salad with grilled chicken, which helps me feel refreshed and ready to continue.

제안: Answer directly (yes/no) and give a brief reason with one or two specific details. Use correct grammar (“if I am tired”) and avoid listing too many activities; choose the most relevant ones and connect them with linking words.

예시: No, if I’m tired I usually stay at home to recover. I prefer to meditate, eat something nutritious, and read a book because these activities help me relax and recharge before meeting friends again.

× I never feel tired myself.

✓ I never feel tired.

The reflexive pronoun 'myself' is unnecessary here because the subject 'I' already refers to the same person. Remove 'myself' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: Use 'myself' only when the subject and object are the same and the reflexive meaning is needed, e.g., 'I treated myself.'

× During my day in frequent intervals I relax myself and then next I go on other activities at the same time I take balanced diet and exercise which makes me so fresh and active in enthusiasm.

✓ During the day, at frequent intervals I relax, then I do other activities; at the same time I follow a balanced diet and exercise, which keeps me fresh and enthusiastic.

Sentence is run-on and uses incorrect reflexive and awkward phrasing. 'Relax myself' should be 'relax'; 'take balanced diet' should be 'follow a balanced diet'; 'active in enthusiasm' is awkward and 'enthusiastic' is the adjective. Also add commas and connectors to separate ideas. Suggestion: Break long sentences into shorter clauses and use correct verb phrases: 'relax', 'follow a balanced diet', 'exercise', 'keep me fresh and enthusiastic.'

× I never feel tired but sometimes due to heavy work and a lot of traffic while driving to office and coming back from office to home.

✓ I never feel tired, but sometimes I do because of heavy work and a lot of traffic when I drive to and from the office.

Sentence lacks a main verb for the 'sometimes' clause and has redundant phrasing 'coming back from office to home.' Add 'I do' for the verb and use 'to and from the office' for clarity. Suggestion: Provide an explicit verb and simplify repetitive phrases.

× So I feel time.

✓ So I feel tired at those times.

'I feel time' is ungrammatical and unclear. The intended meaning is feeling tired at those times; use 'tired' and specify 'at those times.' Suggestion: Replace unclear noun with the appropriate adjective and add time phrase.

× Otherwise I never feel tired myself because I have healthy food habits and

✓ Otherwise, I never feel tired because I have healthy eating habits and ...

Again 'myself' is unnecessary. The sentence is incomplete (trailing 'and'). Use 'healthy eating habits' or 'a healthy diet' and complete the sentence. Suggestion: Complete the sentence with the second element, e.g., '... and exercise regularly.'

× If I'm tired I usually take a hot water bath and then I go on meditation which makes me so relaxed and then I have one beautiful meal, healthy meal.

✓ If I'm tired, I usually take a hot shower and then meditate, which makes me feel relaxed; afterwards I have a good, healthy meal.

'Take a hot water bath' is non-idiomatic in English; 'hot shower' is preferred. 'Go on meditation' is incorrect — use 'meditate.' 'Makes me so relaxed' is acceptable but 'feel relaxed' is more natural. Also 'one beautiful meal, healthy meal' is redundant; use 'a good, healthy meal.' Suggestion: Use common collocations: 'take a hot shower', 'meditate', 'feel relaxed', and avoid repetition.

× It makes me so refreshed when I relax sometimes.

✓ Relaxing sometimes makes me feel refreshed.

Word order and verb form are awkward. Use gerund 'Relaxing' as subject and 'feel refreshed' as predicate for a natural sentence. Suggestion: Use gerund subjects for general statements about activities, e.g., 'Relaxing helps me feel refreshed.'

× I don't go out if I tired.

✓ I don't go out if I am tired.

Missing auxiliary verb 'am' after subject 'I' creates an ungrammatical clause. Insert 'am' to form the present tense conditional. Suggestion: Use 'if I am tired' or contracted 'if I'm tired.'

× I usually prefer to stay at home and relax myself and I meditate sometime and have some nutrition food and the reading books which makes me so relaxed and comfortable like my home.

✓ I usually prefer to stay at home and relax, meditate sometimes, and have nutritious food and read books, which makes me feel relaxed and comfortable like I do at home.

'Relax myself' is unnecessary; use 'relax.' 'Sometime' should be 'sometimes.' 'Some nutrition food' is incorrect; use 'nutritious food.' 'The reading books' should be 'read books.' The relative clause 'which makes me so relaxed and comfortable like my home' is awkward; clarify to 'which makes me feel relaxed and comfortable, like when I'm at home.' Suggestion: Use correct adjective forms ('nutritious'), adverb ('sometimes'), remove unnecessary reflexive pronouns, and restructure the relative clause for clarity.