Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and use correct tense and clearer linking. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid repetition and incorrect grammar (e.g., use "I feel" or "I often feel").

예시: I often feel tired, mainly because my job is mentally demanding. For example, long hours of concentrated work make me lose focus and motivation, so by afternoon I usually feel drained.

제안: Use clear time expressions and correct verb tenses. Give a concise topic sentence about timing, then a specific reason with a linking word (e.g., "because"). Avoid vague phrases like "I will think again with my work."

예시: I usually feel tired in the morning, even after enough sleep, because I wake up worrying about tasks I must finish at work. As a result, my mind feels exhausted before the day starts.

제안: Structure the answer: give a main strategy and one or two supporting details with linking words. Use correct names and clearer vocabulary (e.g., "TikTok" if that is meant). Explain briefly why these activities help you.

예시: When I feel tired, I usually scroll through TikTok to watch short, funny videos because they help me relax quickly. I also follow a motivational vlogger called The Own Fam, whose positive messages inspire me to keep going.

제안: Answer directly then add a contrasting detail with linking words. Fix grammar and phrasing ("I go jogging" not "I do jogging"; "to shake off tiredness" not "score out"). Finish the sentence fully.

예시: Not usually, because I don't have close friends living nearby. Instead, I go jogging or take a walk every morning to shake off tiredness and clear my mind.

× Most of the day I felt tired.

✓ Most of the day I feel tired.

The question asks about a general habit (Do you often feel tired?), so present simple is required. Using past tense 'felt' incorrectly indicates a completed past event. Change to present simple 'feel' to match the habitual meaning.

× I am not sure why but the main reason I felt this feeling it is because of my work.

✓ I am not sure why, but the main reason I feel this way is my work.

The sentence mixes past 'felt' and present 'is' awkwardly. Because the speaker describes an ongoing state, present simple should be used: 'feel' and 'is'. Also 'this feeling' is awkward; use 'this way' and remove the extra 'it'.

× I did not feel anything about it.

✓ I did not notice it at first.

The original 'I did not feel anything about it' is unclear and uses past tense where context suggests lack of awareness at the time; rephrasing to 'did not notice it at first' clarifies meaning while keeping past tense appropriate for the event referenced.

× Like I lost my focus, I lost myself working on it.

✓ For example, I lost my focus and got lost in my work.

'Like' is informal for 'for example'; 'lost myself working on it' is unidiomatic. Use past tense consistently ('lost', 'got lost') and clearer phrasing 'got lost in my work'.

× That's why I don't have any motivation now to work continuous.

✓ That's why I don't have any motivation now to work continuously.

'Continuous' is an adjective; the adverb 'continuously' is needed to modify the verb 'work'. Present simple 'don't have' is correct for current state.

× I felt tired when I woke up every morning.

✓ I feel tired when I wake up every morning.

This describes a recurring situation, so use present simple rather than past: 'feel' and 'wake up' instead of 'felt' and 'woke up'.

× I am not sure even though my sleep is enough, but my brain every morning is very exhausted because I will think again with my work and my work makes me feel.

✓ I'm not sure; even though I get enough sleep, my brain is very exhausted every morning because I keep thinking about my work and it makes me feel drained.

The sentence mixes tenses and has awkward phrasing. Use present simple for habitual facts: 'get enough sleep', 'is very exhausted', 'keep thinking about my work'. Replace 'I will think again with my work' and incomplete ending 'makes me feel' with 'it makes me feel drained' for clarity.

× When I feel tired, I usually scroll in social media, especially in tech talk because there's a lot of funny videos.

✓ When I feel tired, I usually scroll through social media, especially TikTok, because there are a lot of funny videos.

Use the phrasal verb 'scroll through' and correct the platform name 'TikTok'. Also 'there's a lot of funny videos' mixes singular contraction with plural noun; use 'there are a lot of funny videos'.

× Also, I watch my favorite vlogger which is the own fam because they give you motivations and they inspire you to go on in life despite of how tired you are.

✓ Also, I watch my favorite vloggers, the 'Own Fam', because they give me motivation and inspire me to keep going in life despite how tired I am.

'Which' is incorrect for people; use 'who' or rephrase. 'Vlogger' singular conflicts with 'they'; choose plural 'vloggers' or keep singular and adjust pronouns. Use 'motivation' (uncountable) not 'motivations', and 'despite how tired I am' is the correct phrase (drop 'of'). Replace second-person 'you' with first-person 'me' to match speaker.

× Well, sad to say, I don't have any close friends nearby that I can call immediately when I want to go out.

✓ Well, sadly, I don't have any close friends nearby whom I can call immediately when I want to go out.

Use adverb 'sadly' rather than 'sad to say' for smoother expression. Use 'whom' or 'who' depending on formality; 'whom I can call' is grammatically correct as the object of 'call'.

× However, I do jogging or walking every morning just to score out that tiredness in my body and also I clean

✓ However, I go jogging or walking every morning just to shake off the tiredness in my body, and I also clean.

Use 'go jogging' rather than 'do jogging'. 'Score out that tiredness' is incorrect; the idiom is 'shake off the tiredness'. Add a period/completion to the sentence and keep verbs parallel: 'go jogging or walking' and 'I also clean'.