Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the response more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, avoid unnecessary repetition, correct awkward phrases, and limit to 2–3 sentences. Add a brief specific example to support your point.

예시: Not really. At the moment I feel less tired because I’m between jobs and have a lighter schedule, so I use the extra time to rest and recharge by reading in the mornings and taking short walks in the afternoon.

제안: Use clearer phrasing and specific examples; avoid vocabulary mistakes (e.g., “errors”). Begin with a direct topic sentence then add linked details using conjunctions or linking words like “for example” or “also.” Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

예시: I usually feel tired after a very busy morning. For example, if I spend the whole morning doing household chores and running errands, or if I do an intense workout in the afternoon, I tend to feel exhausted.

제안: Be more concise and natural: use present simple for habitual actions and avoid repetitive phrasing. Include one clear sequence of actions and a specific time frame (e.g., 15–20 minutes).

예시: When I feel tired, I usually take a short break to recharge. For instance, I drink a glass of water and take a 15–20 minute nap or do some light stretching to feel better.

제안: Make the answer more direct and natural. Start with a clear statement about whether you usually go out, then explain the condition and give a brief example of how you inform friends. Avoid formal or odd phrasing like “most especially.”

예시: Sometimes I still go out with friends, especially if I’ve already promised to be there. However, if I’m genuinely exhausted I usually send a message to cancel politely and suggest another day.

× As of the moment, I feel less tired than usual since I am currently unemployed and I am not doing that much compared to us before.

✓ At the moment, I feel less tired than usual because I am currently unemployed and I am not doing as much as I did before.

Use of 'As of the moment' is unnatural; 'At the moment' is correct. 'Since' can mean time or cause; 'because' is clearer for cause. 'Compared to us before' is incorrect pronoun and structure; the intended meaning is a comparison with the past self, so use 'as I did before' or 'as before'. Also 'doing that much' should be 'doing as much'. Keep present continuous 'am not doing' to show current ongoing state.

× I am using this time wisely to make myself feel more relaxed and rested before I decide to have a new job.

✓ I am using this time wisely to make myself feel more relaxed and rested before I look for a new job.

The phrase 'decide to have a new job' is unidiomatic; 'have' is not the correct collocation. Use 'look for' or 'take a new job' depending on intent. The present continuous 'am using' is fine. 'Decide to have' mistakes involve verb choice rather than tense or participle form; correction uses appropriate verb.

× I would feel tired if I spent most of my morning doing a lot of things such as doing household chores and other errors that I must accomplish.

✓ I would feel tired if I spent most of my morning doing many things, such as household chores and other errands that I must complete.

The conditional 'would feel...if I spent' is correct. Errors: 'doing a lot of things' is wordy; 'many things' is better. 'Other errors' is wrong word choice; should be 'errands'. 'Must accomplish' is awkward; use 'must complete'. This keeps the second conditional structure intact.

× Apart from that, I would also feel tired if I have done my daily workout in the afternoon.

✓ Apart from that, I would also feel tired if I had done my daily workout in the afternoon.

This is a mixed conditional error. The sentence begins with 'I would also feel tired' (conditional result) so the if-clause should use past simple (or past perfect for earlier past). Use 'if I had done' or 'if I did' depending on meaning. 'If I had done my workout' fits with 'would feel' when imagining a past action's effect on present. If referring to routine, 'if I do my workout' with 'I usually feel' would be alternative.

× Every time I would feel tired, I would allow myself to take a short break or rest in order to recharge my body.

✓ Whenever I feel tired, I allow myself to take a short break or rest to recharge my body.

Repeated actions should use simple present: 'Whenever I feel' and 'I allow'. Using 'would' twice is unnecessary for habitual actions and can sound conditional. Also 'in order to' is correct but can be shortened to 'to' for natural speech.

× Oftentimes I would grab a glass of water to hydrate myself and to have a short nap before heading.

✓ Oftentimes I grab a glass of water to hydrate myself and take a short nap before heading out.

Habitual action should use simple present 'I grab'. 'To have a short nap' is acceptable but 'take a short nap' is more natural collocation. 'Before heading' is incomplete—add 'out' or specify destination. Remove unnecessary 'would' for habits.

× There would be moments that I would still go out with them, most especially when I have committed to that particular activity.

✓ There are times when I still go out with them, especially when I have committed to a particular activity.

For general habitual occurrences use 'There are times' not 'There would be moments'. 'Most especially' is wordy; 'especially' is sufficient. Use present perfect 'have committed' correctly to indicate a prior commitment. 'That particular activity' -> 'a particular activity' sounds more natural.

× However, if I really do feel tired, I would usually do a rain check and inform them as soon as possible if I can hang out with them

✓ However, if I really do feel tired, I usually do a rain check and inform them as soon as possible whether I can hang out with them.

Mixing 'do' and 'would' is inconsistent; for habitual reactions use simple present 'I usually do'. 'Do a rain check' is colloquial but acceptable. Use 'whether I can' instead of 'if I can' to report informing someone about possibility; both can work but 'whether' is clearer. Also add final punctuation.