Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Give a clear, grammatically correct topic sentence that directly answers the question, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and correct verb forms (e.g., “I often feel tired” or “I used to feel tired”). Mention why and when this happened (e.g., long commute, busy schedule). Keep the answer concise (1–3 sentences).

예시: Yes, I often felt tired when I was at high school because the school day was very long and my home was far away. The long commute and heavy homework load made me sleepy by the end of the day.

제안: Start with a direct, grammatical topic sentence that answers when you feel tired (e.g., “I feel tired after doing a lot of work”). Then give a specific example or condition and use linking words (for example, “for instance” or “because”) to clarify. Avoid vague phrases and incorrect word choices. Keep it to 1–2 sentences.

예시: I usually feel tired after I have done a lot of physical or mental work, for example after a full day of classes and homework. Because I spend many hours studying without breaks, I become exhausted by evening.

제안: Answer directly with a topic sentence about your typical action (e.g., “I usually go for a walk”). Then add one or two specific reasons or effects using linking words (e.g., “because” or “which helps”). Avoid filler phrases (“you know”) and unclear adjectives; choose accurate vocabulary (relaxed, refreshed). Keep it to 2–3 sentences and correct grammar (I go for a walk / walking helps me).

예시: When I feel tired, I usually go for a walk because walking helps me relax and clear my mind. After a short walk I feel refreshed and more able to focus on my tasks.

× I used to be often feel tired feel tired feel tired because this is a term that I go to high school it's very time. My home is far from school.

✓ I often feel tired because this term at high school is very busy, and my home is far from school.

Errors: unnecessary repeated phrases and incorrect verb forms ('used to be often feel' is wrong). This is a present-tense habitual situation, so use present simple 'I often feel tired'. 'This is a term that I go to high school it's very time' is ungrammatical and unclear — correct to 'this term at high school is very busy' to convey workload. Keep sentences concise and avoid repetition. Suggestion: Use present simple for regular states (I often feel), remove redundant words, and break ideas into clear clauses with correct word order and punctuation.

× If I feel Thai is means that I do a lot of work that's all

✓ If I feel tired, it means that I have been doing a lot of work.

Errors: 'If I feel Thai' is a spelling mistake ('Thai' -> 'tired') and word order/tense problems. Use 'it means' to explain the cause and present perfect 'have been doing' or simple present 'do' depending on context; present perfect emphasizes recent activity causing tiredness. Also add comma after conditional clause and remove 'that's all' or replace with 'that's all' only if informal — better omitted for clarity. Suggestion: Correct spelling, use proper clause punctuation, and choose appropriate tense (present perfect) to link recent actions to current state.

× When I feel tired I usually go for walk because you know I love walking so when I go for walk I feel relaxed and feel like I'm doing the things lazard that I like.

✓ When I feel tired, I usually go for a walk because I love walking; when I go for a walk I feel relaxed and feel like I'm doing the leisurely things I enjoy.

Errors: Missing article 'a' before 'walk' — correct is 'go for a walk'. Repetition 'go for walk' should be 'go for a walk'. 'lazard' is misspelled/incorrect; use 'leisurely' or 'relaxing'. Also punctuation needed to separate clauses. Use consistent phrasing 'I feel relaxed' and 'things I enjoy'. Suggestion: Always include articles with countable nouns ('a walk'), use correct vocabulary ('leisurely'), and add commas/semicolons to separate ideas.

× So it's making my life more comfortable.

✓ So it makes my life more comfortable.

Error: Unnecessary progressive 'is making' is acceptable but simple present 'makes' fits better as a general truth/habit resulting from walking. Use simple present to describe habitual effects. Also ensure sentence follows previous clause smoothly. Suggestion: Use simple present for habitual facts: 'it makes my life more comfortable'.