Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Fix verb forms (e.g., “it’s quite demanding” and “quite a few responsibilities”).

예시: Yes, I often feel tired because nursing is demanding. For example, I need to memorise many medical terms and attend daily practical training, so I often have long study days and little rest.

제안: Use a clear time phrase to begin and avoid repetition. Use correct tense and link reasons with words like “because” or “so”. Be specific about what tasks make you tired.

예시: I usually feel tired at the end of the day, especially after school. Because I go home with lots of homework and revision, including memorising medical terms and reviewing patient notes, I often feel exhausted.

제안: Organise the answer: state one main action, then add one or two short supporting activities. Use correct verbs (e.g., “lie down”, “check my phone”, “watch vlogs”), and avoid unclear phrases. Be specific about how these activities help you relax.

예시: When I feel tired, I usually lie down for a short nap to recharge. Afterwards, I check my phone and watch short lifestyle vlogs or cute cat videos on social media, which help me relax before I continue studying.

× So it's quite a bit responsibilities.

✓ So it's quite a bit of responsibility.

'Responsibilities' is plural while the phrase 'a bit of' needs an uncountable noun or singular; use 'responsibility' for general workload. Alternatively use 'quite a few responsibilities' for plural. Ensure subject-noun number matches the quantified phrase.

× After all day school and then when I off when I off school I go back home and I still got a lot of homework, a lot of schoolwork and I have to do revisions, I have to do remembers all the medical terms or the patient's transcript.

✓ After a full day of school, when I get off school I go home and I still have a lot of homework and schoolwork; I have to revise and remember all the medical terms and the patients' transcripts.

Use present simple 'get off' and 'have' for habitual actions. 'Got' is informal past; replace with 'have'. 'Do revisions' and 'do remembers' are incorrect collocations — use 'revise' and 'remember'. Use plural possessive 'patients'' if referring to multiple patients' transcripts. Also use 'a full day of school' and punctuation to improve clarity.

× I will go to bed and lay down to take a nap first to recharge myself.

✓ I will go to bed and lie down to take a nap first to recharge myself.

The verb 'lie' (to recline) has past tense 'lay', but the base form for future is 'lie down'. Using 'lay' incorrectly confuses transitive/intransitive verbs. Use 'lie down' for reclining; 'lay' requires a direct object.

× After that I will play with my phones.

✓ After that I will play with my phone.

If referring to a single device, use singular 'phone'. If actually multiple, use 'phones'. Also 'play with' is informal — better 'use my phone' to browse. Ensure subject and noun number match context.

× I will go schooling on social media about lifestyle, flog and some cats clips.

✓ I will browse social media for lifestyle blogs and some cat clips.

'Go schooling on social media' is incorrect collocation. Use 'browse social media' or 'look at social media'. 'Flog' seems intended as 'blog' or 'vlog'; corrected to 'blogs' or could be 'vlogs'. Use plural 'cat clips'. Present participle forms were misused; choose appropriate verbs and noun forms.

× And also I will play with my tears sideberry and cat, which are very, very cute.

✓ I will also play with my teddy, Sideberry, and my cat, which are very, very cute.

Original 'tears sideberry' is unclear; likely meant 'teddy Sideberry' (a toy name). Ensure pronouns and possessives are clear: 'my teddy' and 'my cat'. Use commas and capitalization for a name. If 'tears' was wrong word, replace with correct noun. Clarify items and use consistent possessive 'my'.