Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is relevant and gives reasons, but it is too long, a bit repetitive and unfinished. Keep responses concise (max 5 sentences), start with a clear topic sentence, and use linking words to organise details. Also finish your thought and avoid filler phrases like “you know.” Add a specific brief example (e.g., morning lesson schedule) to support the reason.

예시: Yes, I often feel tired because I work long hours as an English teacher. For example, I teach five to ten hours most weekdays and prepare lessons in the evenings, which leaves me exhausted. As a result, I usually feel low on energy by the end of the day.

제안: The answer addresses the question but is repetitive, uses informal fillers, and contains unclear phrasing. Begin with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words (for example, “because” or “so”). Avoid redundancy and correct awkward expressions (e.g., “I always go feeling exhausted energy”).

예시: I usually feel tired in the evening after finishing work. Because I teach during the day and then care for my baby at night, I often feel completely exhausted by bedtime.

제안: Good attempt with multiple strategies, but the response is slightly informal and vague. Use a clear topic sentence, then list one or two specific remedies with linking words and precise language (e.g., “I usually rest, exercise and eat balanced meals”). Avoid phrases like “you know” and provide specific examples or routines.

예시: When I feel tired, I usually rest and adjust my routine. For instance, I try to take a short nap after work, do a 20-minute walk or stretching session, and eat a balanced meal rich in protein and vegetables to restore my energy.

× Yes, actually most of the time I feel tired and the reason for my tiredness is my job.

✓ Yes, actually most of the time I feel tired, and the reason for my tiredness is my job.

Run-on phrasing: the sentence is grammatical but needs a comma before 'and' to join two independent clauses for clarity. Use a comma to separate clauses and improve readability.

× I work full time as an English teacher so I have been teaching for like more than ten years and every day at least five to ten hours a day.

✓ I work full time as an English teacher, so I have been teaching for more than ten years, and I work at least five to ten hours every day.

Tense and redundancy: 'have been teaching for like more than ten years' is informal ('like') and redundant ('for' with 'more than'). Also 'every day at least five to ten hours a day' repeats 'day'. Use present perfect continuous for ongoing activity and simple present for habitual hours. Remove 'like' and duplicate 'day'.

× Moreover, I also have to take care of

✓ Moreover, I also have to take care of my baby.

Incomplete sentence: the original sentence is a fragment missing its object. Add the object 'my baby' (as referenced later) to complete the thought and maintain coherence.

× I feel tired mostly in the evening after I finish my work and you know my long day of working and then taking care of the baby at night like exhausted sometimes and I always go feeling exhausted energy.

✓ I feel tired mostly in the evening after I finish my work; after a long day of working and then taking care of the baby at night, I often feel completely exhausted and drained.

Awkward phrasing and adverb placement: 'you know' is filler and should be omitted in formal correction. 'like exhausted sometimes' is informal and unclear. 'I always go feeling exhausted energy' is ungrammatical. Use clear adverb placement ('often') and appropriate adjectives ('completely exhausted' and 'drained') and separate clauses with a semicolon or comma for clarity.

× There are several kinds of things I can do to get away, to have a better energy.

✓ There are several things I can do to relax and to have more energy.

Word choice and collocation: 'get away' and 'have a better energy' are unnatural. Use 'relax' for resting and 'have more energy' for increased vitality. Remove 'kinds of' which is unnecessary.

× The first thing I can do is sleeping, you know, like try to sleep around like six hours a day and then try to do some kind of exercises and eat a lot of good food.

✓ The first thing I can do is sleep for about six hours a night, then try to do some exercises and eat healthy food.

After 'The first thing I can do is' use the base form 'sleep' (not 'sleeping'): follow-copula verb requires infinitive or base. Remove filler words 'you know, like' and 'a day' (use 'a night' for sleep). Use 'eat healthy food' instead of 'eat a lot of good food' for clarity and correctness.