Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and directly answer the question first, then give one or two specific reasons. Use correct tense and grammar, avoid contradictions (e.g. "made me more strong"). Use linking words like "because" or "so" to connect ideas and keep the reply within 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I often feel tired these days because I take many lessons every day, including maths, Chinese and English. As a result, I have long study hours and little free time. Because of the heavy workload, I usually feel exhausted by the evening.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence stating when you feel tired, then give one or two specific details and use linking words (e.g. "for example", "so") correctly. Improve grammar (e.g. "I needed to finish studying at ten PM") and avoid run-on sentences.

예시: I felt most tired during high school when I studied for the whole day and often finished at ten PM. For example, I had to stay up late reciting many chapters for exams, so I was usually exhausted by bedtime.

제안: Answer directly, then give one or two specific activities and explain briefly why they help. Correct repetition and phrasing (e.g. "play football with my friends") and use a linking word like "also" or "for example" to connect ideas. Keep to 2–4 sentences.

예시: When I feel tired, I usually play football with my friends because physical activity helps me relax and forget about study stress. I also sometimes play computer games for a short time to unwind before I go to sleep.

× Actually now I feel tired every day because I have taken many lessons in a whole day.

✓ Actually now I feel tired every day because I take many lessons in a whole day.

The original uses present perfect 'have taken' which suggests completed actions with relevance to now; the intended meaning is habitual/current routine, so simple present 'take' is correct. Use simple present for habitual actions (I take lessons every day).

× I need to take maths Chinese and English lessons.

✓ I need to take maths, Chinese and English lessons.

The sentence lacks commas to separate items in a list; adding a comma after 'maths' clarifies the coordination of three items. This is a punctuation/conjunction pattern issue in listing items.

× Of course it made me more strong but

✓ Of course it made me stronger, but

Comparative of 'strong' is 'stronger', one word. Also a comma is needed before 'but' to link clauses. Use comparative adjectives as single words when appropriate.

× Actually in my high school, when I had whole days studying, I needed to end my study at ten PM so I felt very tired for example I need to recite many books

✓ Actually in high school, when I studied all day, I had to finish my studying at ten p.m., so I felt very tired; for example, I needed to memorize many passages from books.

Several tense and phrasing errors: use simple past 'studied' for past habitual actions, 'had to' expresses obligation in the past better than 'needed to', and 'needed to recite many books' is unclear—use 'memorize many passages from books' or 'recite many passages'. Punctuation added to separate ideas and 'p.m.' standardized.

× Well, that's a good question I think I will play computer games with my friends and more time I go to soccer with my friends play soccer with my friends.

✓ Well, that's a good question. I think I play computer games with my friends, and I often go to play soccer with them.

The original mixes future 'I will play' and awkward phrases 'more time I go to soccer'. Since question asks what you do when tired (habitual), use simple present 'I play' and 'I often go to play soccer'. Make sentences concise and use adverb 'often' for frequency.

× I think it can help me relax.

✓ I think it can help me to relax.

Both forms 'help me relax' and 'help me to relax' are acceptable; adding 'to' can be clearer for learners. This suggestion improves clarity though it's optional. Use consistent infinitive structure after 'help'.

× For example, football can release my stress.

✓ For example, playing football can relieve my stress.

Use the gerund 'playing football' as the subject for the activity. 'Relieve my stress' is the correct collocation (not 'release my stress'). This fixes verb choice and sentence structure for natural phrasing.